Greetings to all.
I am a 39 year old angry female cancer patient.
I am one of those people who hoped NOT for a miracle but a fighting chance from Cancer Treatment Centers of America (CTCA).
I was first diagnosed with breast cancer in October 2008. I sought treatment at a local suburban hospital. I elected not to tell my then fiancee until New Years 2009 (insert your comment here.)
After I revealed my secret he moved my case to a very large, reputable hospital (ranked #31 in the USA by US News and World Report). Things were going ok but I had the fear that he would get tired of driving 40 minutes one way for each and every office visit or treatment. I discharged myself from the major hospital and sought doctors in another suburban community. However I told my now husband that the major hospital had arranged to have my testing performed in the suburbs and the major hospital would collect the data, evaluate and decide a course of treatment. I was too stupid to think my plan would work because my husband discovered the truth and chewed my ass out.
We went back to the major hospital as by now I had begun suffering severe leg pain.
What the major hospital told me is that I have a tumor on my spine and due to a pre-existing heart condition I am not a candidate for surgery.
I saw the TV commercials for CTCA and wanted to give it a try. So without discussing the issue with my husband, I telephoned to enroll. Then they asked for his insurance information so I had to tell my husband what I was up to (yep, got my ass chewed again).
Exactly one month ago we arrived at CTCA and I was full of hope and inspiration. This Monday I will get the official word from CTCA that they do not have the facilities/experience to deal with brain tumors and spinal tumors (Yes, I guess I picked up a brain tumor along the way).
Yes I admit my doctor shopping and secret manipulations may have cost me some valuable time. I am leaving CTCA very disappointed. Not once in their sales pitch/intro meetings did they say they could not handle all types of cancer (I am assuming my tumors are cancer. I will have a biopsy tomorrow of the spinal tumor).
If I need to move on to another facility, then so be it.
I called MD Anderson in my hometown of Houston (but not my current residence) and they told me they are unable to treat brain tumors.
I received a recommendation from a CTCA cancer buddy of Dr. Javad Hekmat-panah of the University of Chicago Hospital. http://www.uchospitals.edu/physicians/javad-hekmat-panah.html My husband did recommend this hospital mainly because of the rating it received from US News & World Report Magazine http://health.usnews.com/health/best-hospitals/cancer-hospital-rankings/
I decided otherwise because it's in an ugly neighborhood. I realize now I may not have a choice. I had lots of choices in the past but squandered every one of them.
What's going through my head? I will tell you. Why do I deserve all this at such a young age? Why did I deceive my husband? Will he forgive me? I have put that man through hell, why should I expect him to continue to be at my side because of how stupidly I acted? Will I be here to see Christmas 2009? Will I see our first wedding anniversary in February 2010?
I am open to comments, suggestions and criticisms.
Thank You for reading.
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