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Can A Lack Of Sex Hurt You?

By January 31, 2011 - 12:03am
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Can a lack of sex actually be detrimental to a man's and woman's health?

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In my situation it might.

January 31, 2011 - 11:01am
HERWriter Guide (reply to Christopher2098)

Hi Christopher!

Abstinence is practiced by cultures world-wide. It cannot and does not do any physical harm to a person.

However, for those that wish to have sex and cannot, it can cause a lot of emotional/mental issues.

I think therapy is a good idea for you if you feel this may be the case with you.

Best of luck to you and thanks for writing!

January 31, 2011 - 2:31pm
(reply to Susan Cody)

It isn't the fact that I cannot have sex, it is the fact that no one will have sex with me(I want to have sex and am perfectly capable of having sex...it is just for the past several years I have not had a sexually emotional experience with a woman). I am not a bad looking guy, I am intelligent, engaging and apparently fun to be around....but women only seem to want to be 'friends' with me. This is causing considerable damage to my self-esteem and my well-being.

January 31, 2011 - 6:02pm
(reply to Christopher2098)


I can see how this can cause self-esteem issues but it will not kill you or make you physically ill. Perhaps it would help if you tried ignoring these women you're interested in--for a change. Lots of women do not like to be constantly chased by a man. Nor do they like it when men brag about themselves-- we find that highly unappealing. Now, from a woman's perspective-- if this is what you're telling the women you are friends with then that's probably why they aren't sleeping with you. Have you had a male's perspective on this? A wingman, maybe?

February 3, 2011 - 6:39am
(reply to Rosa Cabrera RN)


Of course I don't brag about myself, and if I ignored the women that I am interested in they would just still think of me as that distant 'friend'. I have gotten a few men's perspectives, and they agree that a lack of sex can cause weakness, illness, nervousness, and eventual passivity(this all would be due to a drop in testosterone levels). I wish that I had a wingman, I wish that I could find a wingman...but all of my friends are married and busy having sex with the wives. I am nothing but a gentlemen to women, funny, intelligent, interesting(if a bit laid-back), a good guy....and yet women don't view men as the man that I am, they just always seem to see me as a 'friend', a guy that they can talk too, tell their problems too....but I am a MAN(very much so)and I need passion, affection(quite frankly, sex the way that every other man and woman on the planet seems to be having it), and romance the same way that they do! What can I do to change this situation?


February 3, 2011 - 9:07am

Hi Christopher

Thanks for your great question. I think, however, that it can have more than one answer depending on who you ask. Some people argue that sex is healthy and needed, though I cannot find credible research to prove that abstinence can in fact be considered "harmful".

There is, however, the argument that abstinence is healthy. It is sometimes medically imposed, it prevents STD's/HIV, prevents unwanted pregnancies, and some people are even emotionally unprepared for sex.

Since your question is asking if "lack" of sex is harmful and not complete abstinence... I'm going to have to say that it isn't. Sometimes it helps people relieve stress but there are other things that help do that. It doesn't make you ill, doesn't cause diseases, and won't kill you.

January 31, 2011 - 6:32am
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