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childhood friends or will it be more?

By Anonymous September 1, 2014 - 8:14am
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Hey I'm a 19 year old female. I grew up in Sydney, in city where a lot of cultures were mixed, my parents have known a family since they were born in Australia as well. I grew up with that family and they had a son same age as me. Our families used to get together get together every night, go out to picnics, the son and i went to the same primary school, we used to like each other, since we were born, until up to the age of 8 we have grew up together with the son of the family. My parents split up when I was around 8 and our families just stopped seeing each other. My mum remarried and moved away from the city we lived in. His family remained in the same city. We grew up till the age of 16 not talking to each other like our childhood memories were just completely erased of both our heads. Just recently we have started talking back on Facebook, and our mums have started talking a little bit, I've been over his house with my parents a few times and he has been over as well. It's like our childhood thing is coming back, like we hang out maybe 3 times every week now, when I see him I don't feel anything more than just a childhood friend, we would go get coffees and go in front of the water and sit or go eat, we would talk about our primary school days, and stuff like that, we've gotten so instantly close that we would share both our personal lives like he will talk about girls I'll talk about guys, but we have like this distance between us, it's like I see him as a family but then I don't because it's gotten weird after those many years that we haven't spoken because of our parents... He messages me nearly everyday saying how are you let's hang out?? And just tonight he messaged me saying what you doing come over my parents aren't home.. and I was like okay and he messages me saying please come and cook me chicken, so I went to his house and he got the pan and stuff ready so we both cooked food and ate in front of the TV then had a smoke, I was like what if your parents come and just awkwardly see me here? And he was like I don't really care they know you already. And I said yeah they know me but I don't want them to think bad.. He was like yeah true I'll find out when they're coming

.. and he found out that they were on there way so I said thank you for the dinner and left. I don't know where this is going, like I don't have a problem hanging out as friends - he is an awesome person, but at the same time I don't want to fall for him if he sees me as a childhood friend - I don't blame him because I see him like that too..
Please help what shall I do or not do? Should I keep meeting up with him?
Childhood friend or could it be more? How do I know what he's feelings are?

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Hello Anonymous,

Welcome to the EmpowHER community. Thank you for reaching out to us with your concerns about your feelings and the future of your friendship.

My advice is drawn from my personal experiences as a mother of a daughter and two sons. My youngest son is your age.

Do not push it and don't over think.

Young men do not like to be pressured into making a commitment, especially at the age of 19.

At this point in the renewed friendship, simply enjoy each other's company. If it makes you feel better, ask your friend to tell his parents in advance that you will be coming over to their house.

If your friend start making advances, like kissing you, go with your feelings. That would be the time to ask him how he feels about you.

To quote Carole King, "Is this a lasting treasure
Or just a moment's pleasure"

Please keep in touch if you have any other thoughts or concerns to share and need guidance.


September 1, 2014 - 8:43am
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