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Could I have possibly been infected with HIV from this case?

By Anonymous September 20, 2015 - 2:00pm
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Exactly four weeks ago, my boyfriend of six months and I did a 69 - he went down on me, and I on him simultaneously. We've never had sex, and I'm still a virgin.
Admittedly, I don't know his status in terms of STDs. He has had sex before yes, but he's told me that the last relation was about three years ago, and he doesn't have anything, and he will get himself tested again to make sure he doesn't have anything for sure before we do anything. I don't know his HIV status, nor his STD status, but his penis looks normal every time I've seen it (i know that doesn't help much but still..) and he generally seems like a healthy guy. He also admitted to me that he's bisexual, however I don't know if he's ever had sex with a man. I don't believe so. The most we have done is hand stuff and oral, fondling and kissing.

Anyway, the day that we did that stuff, he didn't ejaculate in my mouth, but I did taste a little fluid. About ten days before that, I had had dental surgery to remove all four of my wisdom teeth, so my mouth was still a little sore and raw from the procedure.

From yesterday, I've started getting light cold symptoms - just a mild-moderate sore throat, and a runny nose. I get these every now and then, so I didn't think much of it at first. Plus my close friend has a cold too from since Friday, so I figured we got it when we went to the gym together or something. But then I went online, and I saw that oral sex is a low risk chance for HIV, and the chances are higher if the oral performer has "wounds/scrapes/cuts" in their mouth. I immediately remembered that I had had the dental surgery, so my mouth wasn't in the greatest conditions.
I then saw that early signs of HIV are flu like symptoms. Why I don't feel flu-ey, I can't help but wonder if this cold thing that I have is just a coincidence, or something more. I don't think he has HIV, but then again we are taught that HIV can affect everyone and you cannot judge on looks alone.

Is there really a chance I could've gotten infected with something here?? I am so scared, I'm freaking out. I'm not even home right now - I study in another country, and came back here to start my new semester. I've never had a test before, but I'm seriously considering it now. please help me!

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HERWriter Guide

Hi AnitaK

As you have read before, your risk is very low. There is some risk because there was ejaculate and you may have had open wounds in your mouth but it doesn't sound like you're at high risk.

A test now is to early - it can take HIV anti-bodies three months to show up in your system so you have to wait at least another two months to test.

I would also advise you to disengage from sexual activity with this man. Gay men (and bisexual men) are the highest carriers of HIV and if he's bisexual, it's pretty likely he has had sex with other men. Since you and he are not having sex and you are living in another country he may be sexually active with others. Many men have no symptoms for things like HPV (and there is no test for HPV in men) or other diseases/infections so do wait until he has been tested for as much as he can and made sure you see the official results.

I think your flu symptoms may be just flu but to give yourself peace of mind, test in a couple of months.

September 21, 2015 - 4:43am
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