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Did I Make Our Sex Life Worse?

By Anonymous September 20, 2011 - 12:45pm
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Lately, my husband has been having orgasms while we have sex far in few in between. I end up having to finish him by hand. This requires fast motions for a good amount of time. I've noticed now that when I do finish him by hand, it take a prolonged time of fast motions. He doesn't masturbate so I'm not sure what to think or how to "reverse" it. Am I the reason he can't have an orgasm while having sex? I don't want him not to have an orgasm but at the same time, I don't want to make it worse. Does anyone have any suggestions?

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I found some information for you on the website, "Go Ask Alice!", which is associated with Columbia University. The male's issue is no orgasm with intercourse but with oral sex. I think the solution can work for you and your husband as well.
"Your inability to ejaculate during vaginal intercourse could also be directly related to something happening in your relationship, or with you personally. Common reasons why men have problems ejaculating during intercourse are: anxiety about their sexual performance, feeling unconnected to their partner, or personal issues of being preoccupied, or feeling vulnerable.
One suggestion for making a smooth transition to ejaculating during intercourse is to have your partner stimulate you manually or orally until the point that you are close to having an orgasm. Then, quickly insert your penis into her vagina and continue the sexual act until you orgasm. You may also want to try to figure out what happens during oral sex that makes you orgasm, and try to incorporate it into vaginal intercourse. During oral sex, is your partner moving slowly, and gently? Do you experience deeper penetration with oral sex? Do you fantasize differently with oral sex? Whatever it is, try to emulate those sensations during intercourse. Talk to your partner, try to figure this out and experiment together. She may also have some great suggestions! "
Hope this helps,

September 20, 2011 - 3:40pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Maryann Gromisch RN)

Thank you Maryann.

September 21, 2011 - 9:56am
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