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Do most men like masterbating to porn more than having sex with their partner?

By Anonymous February 10, 2016 - 1:49pm
 
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Found teenage porn on my husbands iPad. He tried to lie and say it kept popping up and he didn't search it. It was in a private search window. I kept clicking the back arrow and numerous pages of teen porn came up. My husband is 51 yrs old and not to bright when it comes to the Internet. I told him I would pull the log from the router and see where his iPad has been. He started out with teenage twat pics then first time video girls which is disgusting solo teens and then moved up to videos that were more disturbing. We have been fighting for four months about this. At first when he admitted it, he made it sound like it happened only a couple times. The router log says it happened basically every morning and on evenings when he would be alone in the house. At first he said he never masturbated to it but the truth finally came out and he has been doing that in the shower after work while he replays videos through his head. I am a very good looking lady and all his friends and co workers ask him how he got me. I look 20 yrs younger than him. I am far from being ugly and could probably have any guy I wanted. Not bragging, just letting you know what he has for a wife. I am very sexually active but he always has excuses. He's either tired or sore from work. So it happens maybe three times a year and when it does it takes for ever for him to get it up and stay up and then he can't get off. I thought I was the problem until I found out about his porn addiction. Porn addicts lose spence of reality and can't be with real women. They lose the touchy feelings so the hugs and touches disappear. They don't know how to cuddle, they just lay there. The orgasms they have from masturbating to porn are suppose to be incredibly intense. If they stop watching porn, it don't really matter because they have all the images and videos stored in their head for the next masturbation sessions. My husband denies that but he kept doing it. I asked him what could be such a turn on watching young girls shove vegetables up themselves. He said he didn't get anything out of it. He said he just replayed it in his mind. I researched that and confronted him again tonight. Now he admits the teens were a turn on. I have learned more about porn and my husband in the last four months than anything in my life. He has always acted like a perfect little church boy. I always wondered how a woman could not know when her husband is doing something he shouldn't be doing. I finally found out. Trusting him too bloody much! After 27 years together and having a son that's off to university, I finally realize what I have married. A filthy disgusting pig. I have been hurt by many tragedys in life, lost my parents when they were 50, had a family member that was murdered but nothing has ever hurt me like my husband just has. He promises he will never watch porn again and has been crying that he loves me and don't want me to leave and that he can't live with out me. That's normal to act that way but everything I read says the porn never stops. I don't care about his feelings let alone care about him anymore. I guess I probably have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder which is very common for women in this situation. Some days I don't know if I'm coming or going. Other days I cry most of the day and the next I'm fine. I think I'm going crazy because of this. I went and picked up divorce papers last week. I think I just need to get them filled out and get this over with. I read a lot of woman stay in this kind of situation because of kids, finances and they don't know where to go. Other women know it's going on but are scared to confront their husbands because he is the breadwinner or they don't want to invade his privacy. No woman deserves to be stuck in a situation like this. The pain that is cause is a pain that I doubt I will ever forget. I have zero trust left and will lever trust him again. I have spent four months reading every possible thing that a professional wrote in regards to a porn addict and a life with one is not for me. I can't get over the fact that while my husband was in the shower every night whacking off to some hot teenager, I was on the other side of that wall, in the kitchen cooking for the low life pig. After his shower, he would have dinner then sit in the livingroom chair until bedtime. Too wiped out from masturbating to do anything around the house. Now all he does is complain because he gain 35 lbs and has a gut. Wonder why?

February 22, 2016 - 9:35pm
HERWriter Guide (reply to Sky750)

Hi Anon

I'm so sorry this is happening.

Men don't cheat on women because they're plain looking. Super models and beautiful actresses get cheated on! They cheat because they can, because they want to or because they are looking for something else that you're not.

Teen porn bothers me because it's one step away from kiddie porn and there's a lot of full waxing going on to look as childish as possible. Teen porn is a deal breaker for me - it's dancing on the line of pedophilia and there isn't a person in the world who could convince me otherwise.

Now that you know what you know, you're moving on. That's a good thing. Your child is an adult and you can get out. Do so and don't look back.

I wish you the best,
Susan

February 23, 2016 - 8:09am
Guide

HI Anon,

Thank you for sharing your question with the EmpowHER community.

Masterbation is an act of self gratification that's very common in both men and women and has many health benefits.  Studies report that more men masterbate than women, but whether or not men prefer or enjoy masterbating to porn over actual sex with their partners is more complicated to address.  However, it should be noted, just because someone masterbates, does not mean they are dissatisfied with their mate sexually. 

Here is some additional resources on the topic.

Health Benefits of Masterbation

10 Myths About Masterbation 

Be well,

~Gillette

February 10, 2016 - 2:58pm
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