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ask: Does he have feelings for me or is he using me ?

By Anonymous
 
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Hi I have known a guy for a bout 2 years and I'm in love with him and he knows my feelings towards him . The thing is this guy has promised me that he only wants to hav e sexual stuff with me only and no one else . We're not together and we only speak when he wants to do sexual stuff like oral sex . He cares for me I know that . And when ever I go to his house to do some stuff , he straight touches me makes me feel good but he never ever kisses me . He had never kissed me . I have braces do you think it's because of that ? And lastly how can I know if this guy has feelings for me . He can be really cold and can't tell anything or do you think he may not be ready for a relationship ? And also why isn't he kissing me ?

Add a Comment10 Comments

jcp1224

he is totally using you,your going to really get hurt if you continue this.kissing is amazing and your missing out.he is a jerk

April 5, 2013 - 8:22am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

i never got a reply please help me.. How can I start a conversation and meet him but also make it clear that I never want to do anything sexual with him , and that I just want to watch a movie or maybe even ask him to come movies with me? Please help me and also I have a question that I have been wondering to ask him . I want to say 'ok I am doing sexual stuff with you because I have a reason 'I love you' but I want to ask you the same thing, why are you doing sexual stuff and having sex with me ? '

I really want to ask him this but I'm scared of he's answer and what it would be .... Should I ask him that ?

February 27, 2013 - 9:47am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

If you want to have any type of relationship with him, even a friendship you should talk to him and not when the mood strikes him. As him to lunch where you have a time frame, no drinks. Then tell him you like him and would like to see if there is more than just great sex. Stroke the ego a bit he might not know how to talk to you about it or he might not have thought about it. Ask him out to the movies or something non sexual. When he says NO, then ask him what are his feelings toward you other than sex. If he just wants sex tell him while it was good for a while you want more and end it.

March 18, 2013 - 5:55am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

Thnk you so much but he never calls me he only texts sometimes .. How can I start a conversation and meet him but also make it clear that I never want to do anything sexual with him , and that I just want to watch a movie or maybe even ask him to come movies with me? Please help me and also I have a question that I have been wondering to ask him . I want to say 'ok I am doing sexual stuff with you because I have a reason 'I love you' but I want to ask you the same thing, why are you doing sexual stuff and having sex with me ? '

I really want to ask him this but I'm scared of he's answer and what it would be .... Should I ask him that ?

February 26, 2013 - 9:23am
envygissell

It seems to me he might be using you. If he had any feelings for you he would call you for other things which do not include any type of sex. If you want to test him do this, next time he calls ask him to just watch movies with you instead of having sex. If he changes his mind about coming over then that's a clear sing his not into you. And if i guy who i was having sexual encounters with didn't kiss me it's because all he wants is sex from me. It shouldn't matter if you have braces or not a guy who cares for a woman would kiss her. Honey you should really move on you could do so much better with someone who loves you for you and not for the sex. Remember next time he calls don't have sex and see how he reacts.

February 26, 2013 - 8:59am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

But sometimes I think that he may it be able to tell his feelings or maybe he is thinking that we won't be able to support each other if we decide to be serious .. Couldn't it be that aswell?

February 25, 2013 - 8:29am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Its been 2 year that you have a "relationship" with him and he just calls you or comes around when he needs sex he makes you feel good because he wants sex from you. Have you asked him, how he feels about you? And if he wants something other than sex? Im sorry I really know you dont want to read this and that in your heart there is hope and that idk exactly what your story is but by what you wrote it sounds like he is using you and if you have doubt you need to ask him.

February 25, 2013 - 8:49am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

He doesn't care for you, and he is just using you for sex. He has never kissed you and im sure that he hasnt showed you any affection, please get him out of your heart and your life. I'm telling you this so you won't end up hurt. Hopefully you find a man that does love you and respect you.

February 25, 2013 - 8:23am
Rosa Cabrera RN

Dear Anon,

I'm sorry to tell you that he doesn't have feelings for you. A guy who doesn't kiss you and only talks to you whenever he's in the mood for sex does not care about you nor does he want a relationship with you. I would even go as far as saying that as much as he promised, you are not the only one. 

If you have feelings for this guy, run as fast as you can because he is only going to hurt you and it isn't worth it. "Relationships" like this only work out when both people are emotionally unattached, they aren't very healthy relationships since it makes you vulnerable to STD's, and one person is usually emotionally attached.

Please make the best decision for yourself,

Rosa

February 24, 2013 - 3:40pm
envygissell (reply to Rosa Cabrera RN)

Amen girl tell it like it is!!

February 26, 2013 - 9:01am
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