end of life signals for pancreatic cancer patient

Re:Anonymous message 12 Dec 14 at 10:08

So sorry to hear about your mother and how sudden the changes have appeared and developed. Try to find the strength for your parent and yourself and I wish you as good a birthday as it can be for you under the circumstances.

The first anniversary of my wife's passing will be on the 25th December 2014 and I had planned on a fasting day at either Barcelona in Spain my favourite European city or at a semi isolated beach called Poppit Sands near Cardigan , West Waales UK located some 30 miles from my home where I could have a 9 mile walk with her Jill Russell Terrier dog who now follows me everywhere.

I originally opted for the local walk with our son on the basis that if I had gone out in Barcelona I would probably want to be back home on her anniversary so as to be close to her final resting place.

At a late stage our son then turned around last week and said that he would like to go out somewhere on Christmas Day for a meal instead of the long walk.

On the opposite side of the beach where I had planned to walk there is a cliff top hotel that is separated by an estuary . By coincidence I found out last night that one of my sisters and her family are planning to stay at the hotel for 3 days during the Christmas break so I can now arrange for the two of us to have a pre meal shorter walk on the beach followed after by a dinner with our relations so that everybody gets what they want.

In the UK the hotels usually have 5-6 course meals on Christmas Day and the cost is far greater than a normal day so it will be astruggle for me to go through it all given that I was originally thinking of a fasting day. However I am reconcilced to merely eating tiny amounts of food as it will not be a normal day and I relasie that the son is now our future and know that my wife would have wanted us to be together as a family so the revised plan will be a good compromise . I will try to have and enjoy as normal a day as possible even though it will require a real effort on my part because deep down I will want to do something else.

I have started writing the story of my last two years and will try and paste an extract from the introduction and first part on to this site along with some links to special songs on the website U Tube that can be heard when on line.

I wish the compliments of the Season to you and all other contributors to the blog under what are difficult circumstanes for everyone.

My mother had sumptoms in May 2014 and started seeing her primary doctor regularly to figure out what was going on. June 9, her doctor ordered her to go to hospital immediately. That week she had a blocked bile duct and a procedure to temporarily drain into an external bag. July 2014 had Whipple Surgery on what we thought was only going to remove the head of pancreas. After surgery, surgeon said he had to remove all pancreas, gall bladder and spleen. In August 2014, is when we were officially told my mom had Pancreas Cancer in Stage 4. She began radiation treatments and chemo in pill form in late September. She could get around in her walker for short distances and needed wheelchair for long distance. On Nov 11, 2014 we received update on cancer marker.. it had doubled since June. This was also her first day for Chemo through IV. She had another chemo session on Nov 18. By Nov 24, 2014 she was extremely weak and hydrated. Was emitted to hospital and everything just went down hill. Spent Thanksgiving in hospital. Then she was transferred to a rehab center. Her Whipple incision had opened during chemo and was infected. She legs and abdomen have lots of liquid and she rarely gets into a wheelchair, and that is with help. This cancer is horrible. My mom is mostly knocked out due to needing powerful pain meds. It's my birthday today, 12-12-14 and I am so thankful to God to still have my mom. My heart goes out to anyone all who has cancer. I will keep you updated.

I have just been reading thru all the blog comments on Pancreatic Cancer and my heart felt sympathies and Gods blessings for all of you.
My story is that my wife's mother was diagnosed with PC in Aug 2014 which has been aggressive. It did not allow for a Whipple Operation and did not respond to first round Radiotherapy and Chemotherapy 5-FU. Operations have been performed to insert stents in the bile duct and duodenum to relieve some of the PC problems.
It is now Dec 2014 and PC has rapidly progressed with treatment by doctors for quality of life. the PC symptoms are the same as many have mentioned:
* Extreme weight loss
* No appetite for food
* Extreme fatigue - sleeping more
* Abdominal and stomach pains needing strong drugs

There are some good days and bad days. We pray the she is with is for Christmas 2014. For all of you supporting those suffering this terrible disease - you are the strength they need. We wish you the best possible Christmas 2014.

Dear Anon,
I lost my wife to breast cancer on April 2009, after a 3-years journey with agony and pain. I was very much in love with her during the twenty one years of marriage which endowed me with four wonderful children. However, after her passing away, I thought that it was my turn and opportunity to reward myself for being so devoutly sincere. and that I owed it to myself to move on. Now I am married to another woman and have been blessed with 2 more children. My first 4 children thank me for being so courageous in deciding to move on and are very happy that I didn't become an emotional burden on them. Every person will go through the several stages of grief, but the quicker the better.

My wife was diagnosed with stage 4 pancretaic cancer in December 2012 after being told by a different specialist a month previoulsy that it was non cancerous and went on chemotherapy in March 2013 for palliative care. They changed the cocktail from a strong one to a weaker version in September 2013 and in between those months had three sessions in hospital dealing with high temperatures or bowel blockages put down to the mass growth or the treatment itself or even the drugs taken while on the chemotherapy. She went in to hospital on the 22nd December with a high tempetature and I received a phone call on the 22nd December to call in at the hospital on the 23rd when I was told that she had peritonitis which was not operable and would end her life in 2-3 days. They effectively gave up because of this and the fact that they did not know the exact origin of the peritonitis and considered that she would not survive an operation. I think that they were also mindful that she was in month 12 after diagnosis whereas most inoperable cases dont go beyond 6 months.

Had they killed a nerve carrying pain from the back to the front instead of trying different pain killers over and above the morphine whcih worked to manage most of the pain I guess she would not have had any major pain issues until the outbreak of the peritonitis. It was a step by step approach on the UK Health service and the medicine solution had to be tried before the nerve removal procedure.

Had to battle the medics for 1.5 hours to agree for her to return home to pass away in line with her wishes. A line driver delivering diamorphine controlled the pain and we managed to have eye communication only for the last 30 hours of her life.Beyond a certain point she lost consciousness and sadly passed away on the morning of 25 December 2013. The worse Christmas for the family ever but at least she is no longer in pain.

She had 7 cancellations and for a meeting with a consultant in the period March 2011 - December 2011 when pain first started but was never given explanations and a critical MRI scan was conveniently lost at some stage (probably when they looked back and found that a growth was apparent well before December 2012) The wife was not the type to make a fuss or chase for appointments and we miss her terribly.