It's seems to be an easy answer that I'm struggling with.
Every morning I wake up angry with myself & swear I'll never do it again. By 3 my mind begins convincing myself it's ok, tonight will be the last time. Just one more night.
I drink a bottle of wine each night. If I'm out with friends I can control my drinking however as soon as I'm alone I drink to get drunk.
I know it started due to depression 2 years ago, an escape of sorts. I've called rehabs and they seem to laugh, I guess a bottle of wine should be easy however it isn't. Tonight is the first time in 2 month that I've been sober. Before the one night in October it was a night in June.
I use to workout all the time now I have no energy. I struggle to workout, depressed the cycle continue, leave the gym I buy a bottle go home and swear tomorrow I'll try again.
I don't know if anyone has any suggestions that my help. I know I just need to stop.
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