Facebook Pixel

fear in intercourse

By January 5, 2012 - 9:43am
Rate This

i 30 yrs old woman, married from 5 yrs but still can't
allow my husband for intercourse. I don't know what happens to me when he will
try to insert, i feel too much fear and he will stop.in upper part of vagina only, i will feel pain. he is very understanding and never force me. i don't have any past sexual abuse problems in childhood. now i m dying for one child but wihout intercourse it is not possible, plz help me

Add a Comment11 Comments

HERWriter Guide

Hi Jenny

I can't tell you an answer to this - this is a doctor's job.

I think your best option is to seek a second opinion, definitely before you go for surgery.



January 16, 2012 - 10:57am

hi susan
today, i went to doctor.
she saw my reports and told that everything is normal.
then she again examined my vagina and told that my vagina
opening is too small and suggested for surgery to make it big.
i m tooooo much scared, i will not go for surgery, i think she is
mistaken, whta to do, plz help me, can it be possible?

January 14, 2012 - 10:16am
HERWriter Guide

Hi Jenny

Firstly, a pap test is a good idea, I am not sure why your doctor is ordering other tests - they may be standard or for a particular reason - you need to ask her this.

With regard to having a thickened endometrium, this means the lining of your uterus (womb) is thicker than normal.

This can happen for several reasons including having PCOS (read about that here: http://www.empowher.com/condition/polycystic-ovarian-syndrome ) or being in menopause or after menopause but I don't think this is the case for you.

A thickenened uterus can also happen to women whose periods are irregular, who are over weight or have diabetes. Could any of this be the case for you?

You may have to go on medication for this and your uterus may be checked for cancer although having a thickened uterine lining does NOT mean a person has cancer.

I also think you need to talk to your doctor about seeing a therapist about your inability to have sex; based on what you have said, much of this seems to be psychological. You need to make sure she knows all about this so that when you get a pap test or examination, they will be as gentle with you as possible. You can read all about pap tests here - they don't hurt, they are just a bit uncomfortable or "weird".  Please read everything here:


I hope this helps, Jenny! For further questions on your particular health needs, you will need to ask your own doctor, as in, why she is testing you and what she's looking for.



January 13, 2012 - 11:18am

it is endometrium

January 13, 2012 - 2:51am

hi susan,
my scan reports came, it shows normal retroverted uterus with thickened(1.5 cm) enmetrium.
now what should i do?

January 13, 2012 - 2:50am

hi susan
i never went for pap test, i even never heard about it earlier but now i searched and got the answer that it is to detect cervical cancer. now i will go for pelvic test but i m scared becoz i m virgin. they will insert the camera too much deep, will it be painful? what should i do, she also told me to do haemogram,urine,vdrl,hbsag,hiv,blood sugar,urea,t3,t4,tsh,prolactin tests. i don't know why these many tests.

i m unable to put finger in my vagina, what to do, i don't know, i m very much tensed, always i m thinking these things only, not getting sleep in night becoz of this.

January 11, 2012 - 8:42pm

hi susan
i went to doctor yesterday and she told me some exercises to do.
she also told me to insert my finger slowly whenever possib le.
i am doing exercise regularly but putting finger is difficult, i can just put inside the vaginal opening, can't insert inside. she also told me for pelvic scan, do u think it is required?
one more question, can i get pregnant without penetration just by putting husband's sperm into the vaginal opening while doin sex

January 11, 2012 - 5:46am
HERWriter Guide (reply to jenny123)

Hi Jenny123

Thanks for the update and good for you for going to the doctor!

Jenny, have you ever had a pap smear? This is very important to do and this is different to have scan.  I hope you have had a pap test and can you tell us how it went?

Your doctor wants a scan to check for your pelvic health and likely to look for any kind of obstruction although your inability to have sex may be psychological too. Do you think that could be the case? A scan sounds like a good idea.

You CAN get pregnant without penetration but it's difficult. You husband can ejaculate at the vaginal opening and you can do your best to get as much sperm inside you (by hand). But this will make pregnancy a lot harder. I think for your marriage and pregnancy, getting this fixed is the better option.

Keep us posted!


January 11, 2012 - 10:46am

thanks susan
i will meet doctor soon and i will let u know
the results, plz pray for me

January 5, 2012 - 9:46pm
HERWriter Guide (reply to jenny123)

Hi again Jenny!

I think you are making a good decision - let us know how it goes. I'll be thinking of you.



January 6, 2012 - 11:39am
Enter the characters shown in the image.
By submitting this form, you agree to EmpowHER's terms of service and privacy policy
Add a Comment

All user-generated information on this site is the opinion of its author only and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment for any medical conditions. Members and guests are responsible for their own posts and the potential consequences of those posts detailed in our Terms of Service.

Sexual Health

Get Email Updates

Resource Centers

Related Checklists

Sexual Health Guide

HERWriter Guide

Have a question? We're here to help. Ask the Community.


Health Newsletter

Receive the latest and greatest in women's health and wellness from EmpowHER - for free!