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Genital Rubbing - Pregnant? (2)

By Anonymous July 6, 2010 - 10:19am
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Hi, I recently posted a question, but for some reason the link I saved wont work anymore.
I hope you dont mind me re-posting with some new information I found out about my situation. I really need some help and guidance.
I had my period on June 4th or 5th. It ended about the 8th or 9th.
I had my first sexual experience that included nude genital rubbing, but no penetration on the 10th I think. His fingers went inside me at one point but at no time did he ejaculate inside me. The next morning I completely freaked out and went online to find that pre-ejaculatory fluid sometimes has the potential of having semen within it and so on the 11th and 12th I took NextChoice.

On the 16th I started to bleed again, and it was heavy to light just like a normal period and just as long.
Its now the 6th of July and although my period has never been right on schedule I believe that it should be happening right now or should have happened between at least the 1st through the 5th. I think the period on the 16th was due to the medicine I took.

Thats all the information I have physically. Mentally is a completely different story. I am at the end of my rope. I've been even thinking about suicide because there is just no possible other plan if I turn out to be pregnant. I know that it is a very small chance, but small chances in my life are always very real realities that end up happening. I've been through a lot of things in my life but I'd rather go through anything but this. I can't be pregnant, I just cant be. But its this kind of thinking that is stressing me out so completely thoroughly that I literally cant sleep or enjoy anything in my day. I feel as though I think about it every minute of everyday. And everytime I think that I've started I'm let down. I take full responsibility for my stupidness and my uneducated actions, but I have no one to turn to or talk to and I'm afraid my stress is making my period late. I'm thinking about abortions and pregnancy tests and school and money and all these things that I know I cant handle. Its complete torture and putting a deadline of the 10th of July being the day I have to take a pregnancy test is not making my period come any faster or my stress any less...

How do I take a deep breath?
When should I take a pregnancy test? How do I know if its true? Do I take more than one? When? By that time would it be too late to do anything?
Is it possible that nextchoice or my stress is throwing off my period? I have had all my usual symptoms, lower back pain, irritability, headaches etc. But I cant tell if its from my stress or from my period.
What can I do?
I'm sorry to write so much, but I feel like this is the only place I can turn to right now.
Thank you for reading.

Add a Comment10 Comments

EmpowHER Guest

Alison, thank you so much,
I completely agree with you. I never thought that such an experience would make me feel so completely out of control. My lack of sleep and my family no doubt had a lot to do with my crazy thoughts, but you couldnt be more right. I'm usually an exceedingly rational person and completely and utterly organized in my thinking and how to handle situations, but I'm obviously not ready for anything so intimate because I'm not ready for the possible consquences, no matter how small the chance of those consequences may be. The fact that I even thought what I did or that my mind even went there proves that to me, it was just such an insight for me, just...huge.

I feel much much much more at ease now, and you have no idea how much of it is due to just these responses and knowledge I've been given here! I guess my only stress now is that I want my period to come, BUT I'm not constantly thinking about it or checking it or anything like that, and I'm sleeping and working it through with the boy whom with this all happened.

I hope to get my period anywhere between the 12-16th but if the medicine really did throw me off I guess it will come when it does.

Thanks everyone for your replies..

July 8, 2010 - 3:52pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Not when expected, but my period just started on the 9th. Today is the 11th, and I'm really really greatful because I think this is the real deal.

July 11, 2010 - 8:51pm

I'm very glad that things have turned out ok for you. :)

July 8, 2010 - 11:03am
EmpowHER Guest

That test is fine.All the test are pretty much the same.Some just claim they can tell you if you are pregnant a day or two earlier.The test I took when I found out I was pregnant with my Daughter was actually from the 99 cent store.My family keep telling me to take one,but I didn't believe I was pregnant and refused to spend 8 dollars on it.Long story short,I took it and it said I was pregnant.I said,No Way,that test is so cheap!It is messed up.So I got my Sister to buy 2 of the expensive ones.I took them and both said I was pregnant.Pretty funny : D.So the test is fine! : )

July 7, 2010 - 9:25pm
EmpowHER Guest


So today I was able to get a test, it was an eqquate one, is that okay? I know its not the best brand, but it was the only one I could get quickly. The results were negative. I'm not sure if I held the stick for a full 10 seconds under urine like the box said, but I'm pretty sure. In any case, I didnt get any "invalid" results, so I think the test worked.

Although I feel a little better, should I have gotten a better brand of test? And should I take another one soon?

July 7, 2010 - 7:05pm
(reply to Anonymous)

What will make you feel better about your situation, because I am wondering what amount of information will help ease your concerns and stress. In my original answer, I mentioned that you are most likely not pregnant; it would be very unlikely if you were. Secondly, I mentioned that a pregnancy test taken now would be 99% accurate. All of the pregnancy tests on the shelves have been approved, and as long as you followed the instructions, your results would be accurate.

I know you are worried, but I hope you can also intellectually see past your fear and review the facts in your situation. The sexual behaviors you engaged in put you at a very minimal risk for pregnancy, if at all. You have taken a pregnancy test, and it is negative. You are not even late for your period, as you are expecting it any time...but it is not late by weeks.

Please consider your mental and emotional well-being next time you decide to engage in any sexual behaviors, as I would hate to think of you being this stressed, worried and concerned again for weeks-on-end. A friendly word of advice: you might decide to wait on any further sexual acts until you are better able to mentally prepare for possible consequences without threatening suicide, as that is truly scary and not worth it! You can "make out" with a partner without removing clothes to feel intimate and have zero chance of pregnancy.

Take care!

July 8, 2010 - 1:14pm

I found your original question's link: http://www.empowher.com/community/ask/genital-rubbing-pregnant

As I said in your original question, it is VERY unlikely that you are pregnant. None of us can tell you with 100% certainty, but you should take a home pregnancy test today (7/6), and it would be accurate, since your last menstrual period was 6/4 and your sexual encounter was 6/10. (You said the words "I think", which means you think it was this date, not that you are unsure if he penetrated you, correct?).

When you continue to ruminate about this one-time "encounter" in your head, it will become bigger and bigger, and spiral out-of-control. You are OK. If you feel that you are unable to take a home pregnancy test by yourself, please go to a clinic, Planned Parenthood or have a trusted friend with you. The test should be 99% accurate at this time, and you would most likely want to take one additional test if your period does not begin within the week just to make sure.

Knowledge is power. You are strong, powerful and in control, and can handle any situation. Your period has not started, most likely because the emergency contraception you took can cause irregular cycles for a month or two, plus your period is not that regular (as you mentioned). Take a test for knowledge, and you can have the information you need to make decisions for your future. It is unlikely that you are pregnant; almost 99.9% that you are NOT pregnant! I know you are wondering if you are the 0.1%....but it really does not work that way, promise!

Please take a test with a friend, or go to a clinic, and write us back so that we know you are OK. We are here for you with information and resources. You are OK. If you feel you may harm yourself, please call 911 and they can also help. You can control your thoughts, and give yourself permission to only think about this for one more minute with all the "what if's", then go buy a test at any CVS, walgreens, area pharmacy, grocery store or convenience store.

Do you have a friend whom you trust to talk with about this?

July 6, 2010 - 1:11pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Alison Beaver)

No, to answer your question, he did not penetrate me, and I am sure of that. We were extremely controlled for the most part, just stupid and caught up in the moment, but very respectful of how far was too far.

You dont know how much your reply means to me, I feel like maybe I can actually breath now, which is the biggest improvement of my life in the past few weeks. I feel like I can make it through step by step, and I'm just going to focus on the next one: getting a test.

Unfortunately, because I'm home for the summer, I live in an very very small Christian-orientated town, and I couldnt drive out of town to get a pregnancy test today without going to a local store, which isnt a possibility because everyone here is extremely judgemental and the fact that I bought a test would spread like wildfire.

So I'm going to try and go tomorrow, maybe even go to our own local walmart if I have to and try to be as quick and unnoticed as possible and self-checkout. This kind of mindset is exactly WHY so so many girls in our town are pregnant and unable to go to school etc. My town is just so against their youth having knowledge about sex or anything like it because its so taboo. I myself should have known that my activity required a condom for safety.

And no, I dont have a friend here that I could talk to about it, but I may reach out to a college friend soon.

Thank you again for your replies, I will update as soon as I can get a test. b

July 6, 2010 - 9:47pm
EmpowHER Guest

OMG.Hi!Did he penetrate you with his member?You sounded unsure.If so,there is a slight chance.BUT you also took medication and your period came on the 16th.Which could have thrown off your cycle making it come around the 16th now of each month.Just as if you missed some birth control pills and your period comes on the third week,instead of the 1st week how it always has been.The stress you are under right now could be making it late as well,it can also make you miss it.You can take a pregnancy test now,if you want.Get a 2 pack @ wal-mart for like $7.98.Take one now.If your period hasn't come by the 16th,take the other one.I understand that you must be under a lot of stress.It sounds like you are still in High School and College.I know things are hard,but Never think about suicide.No matter what happens your family and freinds would want you here and would rather see you with a baby than see you being buried.I know you might feel embarrased,but like Sunshine said,you can go to a free clinic or planned Parenthood.There are many differnt programs that are offered.They will not tell you parents due to paitent/doctor confidentality. I pray all is well and Please keep us posted.We are here anytime you need to talk.If you would like my e-mail,just ask. : )

July 6, 2010 - 12:02pm

First off, breath.... You're hitting the age that you want to explore your sexual feelings. What you can do is realize that you are not pregnant by the sounds of your recent experience. You we're thrown into a menstrual cycle from the medicine. Now, I am concerned about your mental health. You say you have no one to talk to? Maybe you should try opening up to a teacher or go to a free clinic place to talk about your anxieties. There is no one on this earth that would want to see anything bad happen to you just because you are getting to the age of wanting to be sexual. Go to the free clinic, get some birth control and relax. you are fine, sweetie.. Big Hug...

July 6, 2010 - 11:54am
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