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Help! Im a female and I cannot CM during sex

By Anonymous July 31, 2014 - 3:06pm
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Hi all
Im 21 and have lost my virginity to my bf after dating 5 months. We continously have sex but theres a big problem.. He always cms and after sex he says to me ' did i ring your bell' i look lost and say yes a bit!? What the hell is that about i naturally just have nucr sex with him but if i no im 'trying' to come its feels lile im just trying to squeeze as if im going to the toilet to have a weez. We do have foreplay before sex but i want to cun because its been too long now i do tell him to go slow as it feels better and i push my body up towards him but its something that just has to happen. While he does it fast it still feels good but i dont feel or i cant cm as it feels better and pleasurable rather than having the urge or ' tryinng' to cu. Please help!

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HERWriter Guide

Hi Anon

Thanks for your post! 

It sounds like both of you feel under pressure to have "movie-like" sex every time! Give yourselves time to get used to sex - practice and experience really count. 

What you seem to be looking for is a vaginal orgasm - this is an orgasm from intercourse. Most women don't have these kinds of orgasms because a woman's body works a lot differently than a man's. Men have orgasm via intercourse. 

Most women have an orgasm via clitoral stimulation, especially oral sex. 

So experiment in this regard and don't put yourself under pressure (and your boyfriend doesn't need to ask you if he "rang your bell" - tell him you'll let him know!) to have an orgasm. Also tell him the differences in men and women and that the majority of women don't orgasm this way. He is probably inexperienced too and doesn't know this. 



August 1, 2014 - 4:38am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Susan Cody)

Hi susan
Thank you for your reply. I always tell him women are slightly
Different when it comes to cuming whilst having sex we do oral quite a bit as im very ticklish but feels good i think this is what disrupts things and delays me having to cum. We have debates when we argue like he says things in such a way as if he knws that women have or women he has been with. Hes does not say it now. We have even tried different positions and he says to me play with yourself to cum. But i dont do that ever i prefer him doing it!

August 1, 2014 - 4:59am
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