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Hi, it's been 2 years I got married but till now we don't have proper sex....... the thought of penetration makes me scary....

By January 28, 2017 - 8:18am
 
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From the starting of my marriage.... I am scared of sex... I told my husband about it .. he gave me time to come out of it but I always try to keep myself away from being intercourse with my husband .Whenever we proceed for intercourse but i feel fear of pain and resist him doing intercourse. Actually we had sex 2 times .... once in the starting after 15 days of our marriage and secondly after 1 years of our marriage but both time it was soooooooooooooo painful that I never tried it again .... now we do the oral sex..... but I really want to have sex with him ..... I feel libido many times when he touches me but the thought of penetration and pain resist me....... I read somewhere that red wine will be good for sex phobia..... but I had never tried alcohol.... now I am not able to make my mind what should I do..... I don't want to go for any therapy.... I want to do it by myself. Will the red wine make my mind my brain relax??? Please help me......

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its not me.. its my husback backing from intercourse. its been 4 years. i dont know why am living like this

February 11, 2017 - 1:28am
Guide (reply to anonymous471)

Hi, again.

All questions go to moderation and it takes a bit of time to be answered. I did reply to your ASK. You can find it below (if you have not already seen it by now).

http://www.empowher.com/community/ask/am-virgin-wife-4-years

Helena

February 11, 2017 - 11:12am
Guide

Hi, Sbsb.

Thanks for reaching out to us today.

The glass of red wine would relax you perhaps, but it won't solve the real problem, your fear of intercourse. Some reasons sex might be painful is not enough lubrication. Even if a man is gentle, it can hurt if there is not enough lubrication in the vagina. So, prolonging foreplay to get you more excited (and wetter) may help. Don't rush into the act itself. Try to enjoy the process leading up to it, take it slow, don't tense up, which can also cause pain.

You might want to see your doctor for an examination, just to be sure there is no physical reason for the pain. I know you don't want to seek therapy, but if this persists, there is no shame in seeing someone who has experience in this area and can help you.

Keep us updated

Helena

January 28, 2017 - 12:41pm
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