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How can I create a libido?

By April 1, 2012 - 7:34pm
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I am 24 years old, married for 2 years and i have a 9 month old baby girl. I have no libido. I have never had a libido.

I find my husband very attractive, and he is a very good lover, but I never want sex, and i purposly avoid contact because I dont want it to lead to sex.

I have been to the doctor and he has tested all my hormones and everything came back normal, he now wants me to see a therpist but I live in a rual area.

Is there anyting I can do to help my self? We have tried sex toys and still nothing helps. I used to beable to at least orgasim with a viberator but now nothing works. When we do have sex I feel him but there is no pleasure.

Please help.

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EmpowHER Guest

thank you rosa, weight isn't an issue, never has been, i have always had a low bmi, and being sick during the pregnancy made keeping my weight down easy :)

I will try calling around to see what i can find out..

thanks so much

April 2, 2012 - 10:03am

Hi awhite818,

There are some therapists that will work with you over the phone if driving to them is not an option. Sometimes libido is greatly affected by your weight-- you mentioned that you had a child not so long ago. Has weight or your appearance ever been an issue for you? If not, then there may be much more to this loss in libido than you may think and it would benefit you and your marriage a great deal if there was any way possible for you to drive to see a therapist or at the very least call one to speak to. 

It doesn't hurt to call-- after all, this is your marriage that you are trying to save. 



April 2, 2012 - 8:57am

thank you for your reply, but i live to far away from a therpist so it isn't an option.

April 2, 2012 - 7:09am
EmpowHER Guest

Hi awhite818,

Welcome to EmpowHER.  According to experts.  A woman's desire for sex is based on a complex interaction of many components affecting intimacy, including physical well-being, emotional well-being, experiences, beliefs, lifestyle and current relationship.  A wide range of illnesses, physical changes and medications can cause a low sex drive including sexual problems.  It would definitely be good to follow your doctors advice and get counseling from a therapist. 

Here is a link that might be helpful





             April 2, 2012 - 3:23am
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