I feel ashamed that my boyfriend and I haven't had sex yet and it is starting to put pressure on both of us. I have experienced a past sexual assault where I was forced into giving a man oral sex and I am scared of being with a man. My boyfriend has tried to help me cope with that, but the way I have trusted him so far is getting risky. A few weeks ago I allowed him to rub himself against me without a condom. I freaked out and started to curl up in a ball before we could do any more. I have never had intercourse before in my life for my past has always made me flinch away. He said it was okay, but I feel like I hurt him. Also, my vagina started to bleed two days ago but it was faint and scarce unlike any period I've ever had, and it makes me scared that I might be pregnant. I haven't even been brave enough to have intercourse with him and I don't want to tell him I might be pregnant. What can I do?
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