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How can i tell if he likes me and wants to be in a relationship with me? Should i move on to find someone else even if i really like this guy?

By December 2, 2010 - 7:56pm
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I have been seeing this guy for maybe about 2 months now, and when i first met him i wasnt sure if i was into him or not..but i gave him a chance and now i really like this guy, but i dont know if he likes me. We dont talk on the phone because we both dont like to, but we text eachother everyday. I really dont seen him that much..maybe about once a week or once every 2 weeks. When we do see eachother, i have a really great time! we go out to eat, maybe watch a hockey game or a movie and just talk, he really makes me laugh. But in the back of my head i just feel like hes being nice to me. it happens alot with me sadly. I mean if he really liked me he would want to spend time with me right? we have kissed and i have slept with him, i didnt give it up on the first date, i waited a little bit. and if i do see him and i end up spending the night, there is a good chance that we do end up sleeping together, i feel like maybe hes just useing me to get some..but afterwords hes really sweet and in the morning hes really great. Theres just so meny mixed signals going on and i hate feeling like this, i really like him and want to give him a chance but i do not want to be one of thoes girls that he thinks he can just get sex out this. Normaly im very good with my instincts, but this is just driving me crazy! Help?!

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Thanks so much! I was just looking for some advice, maybe some ideas but this really helps thanks so much! and i will look into a group and check out some of thoes articles. I know in the end im going to have to talk with him i just need to find the strength in me to do it!

December 3, 2010 - 9:23pm

Hi cupcake_gal,
Thanks for your question. My initial thought is this: 1) ask him, and 2) if you don't want to ask or talk with him, try not having sex or staying the night next time and see if he still comes back. Guys are typically (and yes, guys may jump all over me for saying this), they are simple creatures. If they enjoy your company, and like you, they will hang out with you. If they don't, they won't. Yes, sex can be a great motivator for a guy, but even with it, a guy will not hang out with you if they don't like you. I like to think you would know if he was putting you on. Regardless of all that, if you enjoy your time with him, try to relax and not worry about it. Make sure you are appropriately protected from unwanted pregnancy and STDs in case either of you have multiple sex partners. If you are looking for more in the relationship, it's time to talk about it with him. Otherwise, yes, you may need to look into other opportunities for a relationship. Hope that makes sense.
We can't tell you what to do, we can only provide insight and inspiration for you to act on as you see fit. I'm not a therapist or doctor, so take this with a grain of salt. If you don't like what I'm telling you, do what you think is right for you. There are some great articles about communication in relationships and other topics in EmpowHER's Sex & Relationships section: Sex & Relationships, you also may want to join an EmpowHER Group to discuss relationships: Groups
Good luck!

December 3, 2010 - 9:14am
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