Facebook Pixel
Q: 

How can you "inspire" male orgasm during slow sex with a fast & furious kind of guy?

By September 26, 2009 - 4:47pm
 
Rate This

My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. There's a lot of love and passion in the relationship, but he just can not seem to climax in a slow and gentle position... ever. I know that he cares for me, but the fact that we have to go really fast and really hard for him to finish really kills the romance. If we do have intercourse at a slow, gentle pace, he will last all night (I know that doesn't sound like much to complain about, but it does bother me.) I'd like him to reach climax during slow passionate sex as well, and not just in the hit-and-run fashion that usually does it. For the past few months he's stopped masturbating entirely, in the hopes that it would make him more sensitive during sex, but that hasn't worked. Any advice is helpful. All I can find when I search the web is information on premature ejaculation, which is not the same problem at all.

Add a Comment5 Comments

EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

Stop acting like a princess, it's a mechanical action! Enjoy it don't try to make it something it's not. Let your bubble of "reality" pop...

February 2, 2016 - 3:37pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I had the same problem until I was lucky enough to have sex with women that knew how to spice up slow sex with dirty talk. If done properly, a woman can literally talk the juice out of a guy ;)

January 11, 2012 - 5:49am

Thank you Rosa,

Our problem hasn't really been a matter of enjoyment- He actually says that he enjoys slow, passionate sex very much- it just doesn't "send him over." Your advice is helpful though. Since I last posted my boyfriend and I had a conversation about this. He's been trying to better educate himself on the matter, and he brought up that he's begun to realize that orgasm is connected more to thoughts/emotions then he had previously thought. This piece of information seems to have set off a sort of light bulb in his head and he is now "training" himself. So far, it's going great. Climax is coming easier to him in slow positions and sex has become more enjoyable for both of us. For other women who've faced this issue I DEFINITELY recommend trying to solve the problem together. Since this was something he needed to reprogram in his own mind there's no way I could have solved it all on my own.

September 30, 2009 - 12:50pm
(reply to magick63)

Hello, how did things work out? I wonder if your boyfriend or you have any tips on what to read to educate yourself about it?
Best regards!

April 25, 2012 - 9:12am

Hi magick63,

Thank you for your question, I will try to answer it as best as I can.
If your boyfriend finds it hard to climax during slow sex, it may be because he has been previously used to this, whether it is from previous relationships or masturbation technique. Once this has already been established, it is a bit difficult to break the cycle. However, you can try this: Meet him halfway.

So, he likes is fast and you prefer slow sex? Try interchanging both. Start off slow, just how you like it. Guide him, make him feel that you are truly enjoying every second of his slow thrust. Then, after a few minutes, start speeding it up a bit, not full fledge speed-- you don't want to go from 0-60 in 2 seconds. Start picking up speed and please him. Do this a few times and, of course, end it with fast sex so that your man can climax.

Start off with this and you may be able to "train" you man into enjoying slow, passionate, sex.

Good Luck!

September 28, 2009 - 6:25am
Image CAPTCHA
Enter the characters shown in the image.
By submitting this form, you agree to EmpowHER's terms of service and privacy policy
Add a Comment

All user-generated information on this site is the opinion of its author only and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment for any medical conditions. Members and guests are responsible for their own posts and the potential consequences of those posts detailed in our Terms of Service.

Sex & Relationships

Get Email Updates

Resource Centers

Sex & Relationships Guide

HERWriter Guide

Have a question? We're here to help. Ask the Community.

ASK

Health Newsletter

Receive the latest and greatest in women's health and wellness from EmpowHER - for free!