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How do I deal with my anxiety over sex and just do it?

By Anonymous March 1, 2015 - 2:41pm
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I believe I have had some sort of anxiety problem all my life. It has come full fledged these past two years. I went to the emergency room last year thinking I was having a heart attack but turned out to be anxiety. My biggest anxiety is having sex with my husband. I have been terrified of it ever since having a bad anxiety attack at the gyno to get on birth control. She didn't give me a pap because she was afraid it would scare me from having sex. Well, as a result of just the regular exam I have been terrified. It just feels too weird for me. I can't even put in a tampon. My husband and I want children. I have started having irregular periods and pelvic pain lately and feel stressed out by that and the thought of going to get checked out by the gyno. I feel so ashamed and it is ruining my life. I have to get over this fear. We have had oral sex and that does not bother me. I am just scared it will hurt. I need to stop this anxiety!!!

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HERWriter Guide

Hi Anon!

Thanks for writing - we talk to many women about their fear of sex - I think much of it is brought on by a society obsessed with sex but teaching women it's somehow dirty/dangerous at the same time. 

Since you have general anxiety already and deep anxiety about sex, you could probably do with some therapy to get you through this.  I think your anxiety about sex is one of the symptoms of your anxiety about many things. 

Talk therapy can help with this so you can go on to enjoy a sex life. Talk to your doctor about your options.



March 2, 2015 - 5:38am
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