How do I reconnect with him? I need more intimacy!

By emotica September 10, 2009 - 6:20pm

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I am getting depressed by the lack of sex and intimacy in my relationship. My boyfriend is the sweetest man, and we love each other. But this issue is putting a gap between us...

If it were up to me, I'd be having sex many times a week, at the least once a week. Now we're going on soon 3 weeks of no sex. As for affection and attention from him, I hardly get one-on-one time with my boyfriend.

He comes home after work, tired and stressed and wants an escape. He turns to his gadgets and doodads, and hardly even looks at me the whole evening.

Moving in with him has been a let down in this regard. We used to be very open about sex, we were planning to have lots of fun adventurous sex when we live together and whatever. But there has been almost none of that.

I knew he'd have work stress, but I thought I'd be able to help him de-stress by spending time with him just doing fun stuff in the evenings. But it just seems like time spent with me means MORE stress to him, like another chore, another obligation. So usually he just uses the computer instead of doing anything with me.

It's making me feel useless. Like it wouldn't make a difference if I wasn't here, other than that he'd have to take care of the home himself..

My situation has many things working against me, too. We've only lived together for a few months. I moved from another city and I don't have work or friends here in my new town. My boyfriend has a new job that is quite stressful. He has kids (who visit on the weekends), which is proving to be a lot for me to adjust to, as well.

I feel neglected, but my needs for intimacy, (and all other expectations (of his kids and his work)) are causing him stress. So neither of us are happy!

What do I do to make things better?