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How do WE as WOMEN learn to live in a MEN'S world?

By Anonymous February 17, 2011 - 10:37pm
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I can't help feeling ugly/ insecure/ stupid because it feels like no one wants me. Who Cares??? Why do I care that my boyfriend isn't attracted to me? I don't know, but I DO CARE. Please help me to empower myself and learn to live without a man's approval!

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I would suggest for you to read "10 Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives" by Dr. Laura Schlessinger

The men that I've been with were complete scum and only wanted sex and I found myself depressed and anxious when things didn't work out between us. Question is: Why???? Why do I want back these men that don't apperciate me for me?

After reading this book, I realized that I had been going about everything wrong. I was so ready to change myself for someone to love me and it doesn't work like that. I wanted their approval so badly and I felt that that was the only way I was going to be happy. I made these men "my life" rather than just living my life with these men.

I've been trying to get to know myself better since then but it's been a journey. When you start getting all those bad feelings, you gotta just stick it through and resist the urge to call these men to "comfort" you or sueduce a man just so you'll have company because you feel lonely. Start doing something that will better yourself. The only way to get higher self esteem is to earn it.

I do hope you find yourself soon rather than later. :)

February 18, 2011 - 11:59am

Hi Anonymous,
Thanks for your question, and for finding EmpowHER. Sounds like you are in a relationship that has gone awry. The good news is that you have choices, and you don't have to stay with your boyfriend! There are tons of guys out there, and the right one may be right around the corner just waiting to be with you. It may take some time to find him, but he's there. Believe it. In the meantime, you can work on yourself.
The best way to EmpowHER yourself is to be with yourself, learn about yourself, and challenge yourself to be a better person, whatever that means to you. If you need fitness, get going. If you need to get some more education, get at it. If you need a better job, start looking. Figure out what makes you happy and start focusing on getting to that realm. Do you have friends and family you can lean on in times of loneliness or confusion? If not, we are here, and want to see you moving toward a healthier, happier life.
Your perception that it's a man's world is just that--perception. You are the key to your own happiness. Be confident in yourself, your strength, and your beauty. This lends back to what I said earlier. What do you want? What do you need? Well, go get it! We are here to support you and help guide you on your path. We are not doctors, or therapists, we are women just like you with struggles, challenges, and hardships. Yes, this is a pep talk. We can't tell you what to do, or how to do it. We can only provide resources and insight to get you moving in a positive direction.
Not sure if this is helping or not, but you may want to additionally check out a group on EmpowHER to connect with women in similar situations as you, or check out articles about improving self-image, etc.
Good luck, and let us know how you're doing.
Here are some links:
Self-esteem and How To Improve It
and EmpowHER: Emotional Health Community and Groups

February 18, 2011 - 9:26am
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