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how do you make you partner more sexually active and interested to you?

By July 31, 2010 - 7:32am
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we've been togethr for almost 3 years now, and looks like it's me who's asking for an intimate night more often.. how or what can i do to make him more interested? or to make him the one who's gonna keep on asking for more?

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EmpowHER Guest

The truth is if you have to tell your partner to become more sexual, it makes it not real. It's like asking for flowers not so special anymore is it.
You just need to try and find a woman that's very sexual
Good luck because they all pretend to be the woman you want until they have you. There's no love like new love!!!

February 1, 2015 - 11:53am
EmpowHER Guest

Im 21 so is my gf we have been dating for almost three years. In the first two years things were very intimate but slow it took a long time to build up but as soon as it did it seemed like she lost interest somewhere along the way. It's not that she refuses any physical stuff but there's an excuse here and there and I have this fear of even trying with her I don't know what to do there was a point where we couldn't keep our hands off each other and now it's just so stale she never tries anything and it's gotten progressively worse because I haven't made the effort in order to try turn the tides and see uf she is still interested but nothing seems to be working. I even flirt but she just laughes or whatever and I've tried to compromise and talk to her about it on more than one occasion but nothing seems to be doing the trick o love her so much im worried the passion is dwad but I don't want to break up with her . Please please please someone help

December 9, 2014 - 3:35pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

That's how I feel with my boyfriend. At the beginning it was amazing couldn't keep our hand off each other. Years down the road it's been slowly dyin. It feels like I'm not attractive or sexy to him anymore. I've been askin for his time and attention and it shouldn't be that way. It feels like there is something wrong with me. I'm the one that starts everything and he really don't do anything. Ha gets mad when I ask stuff from him and it feels like he don't want to put out. He hardly ever gets a erection. Always complaining always tired. I don't think there is nothing I can do anymore. What am I suppose to do. He says he loves me should I believe him. Years ago he was addicted to porn 24/7.I can't do n e thing right. When it comes to the bedroom nothing. He will blow me off and have excuses. He never gets a hardon with me. It feels like he is not interested in me anymore. What should I do???

October 4, 2015 - 3:49am
HERWriter Guide (reply to Anonymous)

Hi Anon

You are an adult in an adult relationship so both of you need to sit down and discuss this maturely. Playing mind games like flirting with others to get a reaction out of her is not going work. 

Tell her how you feel and ask how she feels. If both of you are willing to reconnect then your relationship can get back on track. 

You are both 21 and have been together since you were 18. Your relationship may have run it's course and if that's the case, it's going to be a hard thing to move on - but in time, that is something you will have to accept. 

Good luck with everything, I hope you can both work this out.


December 9, 2014 - 4:44pm
EmpowHER Guest

So my husband is very sexual. I guess I should be too. We are only (ME-22) & (MY HUSBAND-24) But I just dont like to have sex at all. I love him with all my heart and Im very attracted to him. Just sex is what ever to me. Is there a way for me to become more sexual so my husband and I can stop arguing over me never having sex?? Please HELP!!

May 1, 2012 - 12:33am
EmpowHER Guest

We've dated for two and a half years now,but he's not a active man as much ,like im always the starter,but when we get to going its no stop,I know that he's been hurt in the past as well as I,but what is there do to when a man is still with fear?

January 7, 2012 - 1:35pm

Well, I in a long-term relationship, 30 years, and we haven't had sex but three times since I had a hysterectomy. It's really hard to describe myself as married anymore. I feel more like the housekeeper, cook, shopper, and laundry lady. I do all the work of a wife, but because I gained weight I am no longer desirable as a partner. I know times are stressful but this is really hard to take. I feel like I work for him. Worst is, he doesn't even seem to miss sex at all, which either doesn't say much for me or doesn't say much for him. Either way I feel like I'm doing the work but getting none of the rewards.

August 10, 2010 - 7:31am
(reply to Gr8news)

wao... for that long you just deal with that kind of living with your husband? i mean.. yeah, i've gained weight too, but atleast my husband still makes love with me.. i took mscortes advice 'bout talking things out with him, i exerted more effort to keep myself beautiful for him 2 take notice... i cook good and healthy meals, etc.. did you ever tried putting an extra effort to what you always do for him as his wife? why not try it first? who knows you might get the reward you've long waited?

August 13, 2010 - 8:22am
(reply to Gr8news)

I am so sorry!

Have you talked with your husband about your feelings? What does he say?

Has he ever brought up this subject (sex, lack-of-sex, etc), and if so, what were his concerns?

August 10, 2010 - 1:27pm
EmpowHER Guest

Hi Saint Sinner,

The truth is that in long term relationships, people tend to get comfortable and sometimes they stop wooing the other person as you feel as if you don't have to anymore.

The most important thing to remember in a long term relationship is to communicate and compromise. Talk to him about your feelings and try to come up with a solution. Maybe you can try to get him to start an intimate day on Wednesday and you can on Friday. There will be some days that you will not be feeling your 100% in the relationship and he may make up for your loss of interest (bad day at work, kids screaming all morning, etc.). You should also understand his issues (stress, work issues, etc.)

Try to talk to him without blame. Communicate without placing blame on how you are feeling, instead try and come up with a solution as stated above. Does this give you some good ideas?

July 31, 2010 - 9:29am
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