How to love my bf again?

By nora February 18, 2013 - 6:05pm

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Hi,
I don't know whether this is normal or ever happened to someone else but what's been happening to me for 7 days now has started to really become UNBEARABLE. So me and my fiance are together for 8 and a half years now since from my first year of highschool, and he's only two years older than me, and I've always loved him more than anything else in this world and i still can'imagine my life without him...he's (been) the perfect example for how a bf should be, very caring and understanding for anything, my friends always keep saying me how lucky i am for havin found a man like him, faithful, caring, loving and every other attribute that make a bf perfect...however, 1 week ago i entered his facebook account and just ou of curiosity checked his activity logs (oh God how i wish i didn't) and happened to find that he has visited profiles of some girls that i didn't knew they even exist, and he didn't do that only once but quite some times, not everytime he checked his account though, I was totally shocked and the thought that his eyes 'purposely' have chosen to look at someone else just killed me in a sec. Of course tmr immediately we went out and he clarified who they were and sweared that he never did such a thing on purpose and while seeing me all destroyed (couldn't stop crying at any time while talking to him) he begged for forgiveness and asked me all the time to not take it close to my heart bc that's nothing, he said he doesn't even now why he did that, he said that is was a bad habbit taken at his job where everyone does that (even married men :@) and i really believed that bc in a real world i know that everyone does that (but i thout that my fiance was perfect :'( ) so i decided to forgive him and even that night we got to his apartment slept together and of course had sexual intercourse...everything was perfect, however i feel that i'm not the same towards him anymore, i look at him sometimes and he's like a stranger to me, while in fact he's been hugging and kissing and still asking If I passed through it, and actually sometimes i don'have have ANY feelings toward him, the man that used to turn my world upside down only by hearing his voice for 8 and a half yrs now has become someone that when i look at him reminds me only of the best memories of love and commitment that a couple may heve with each other... I really MISS MY LOVE FOR HIM, there's nothing in this world that i wouldn'd to bring these feelings back in me. this weekend we were together as always and the worst was that i couldn't even hav sex with him, his touch didn't raise a feeling on me except the one of fear that my feelings have died and i'll never be able to bring them back again...is that possible, i mean is there anyhing that I could do to love him as I used to one week before, or is it just that the case is still fresh in my memory and forgivennes hasn't still play it's role to the end? I've been grown with him and the thought that one day he may not be in my life and i won't be on his is sendin me toward depression...i really don't know what to do, i can't eat, hardly sleep, or talk with anyone else about this...i know he didn't want to hurt me and i really want to move on with him, i'm 0 without him and can't ever love someone else again...if i WILL, i will love this guy otherwise i can't have feelings for anyone else ...so can anyone advise me how can i pass through this situation asap because i need that energy and life that only by loving him i can have?
Thanks everyone and sorry cuz it took too long to clarify things!

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Anonymous

Hi nora,

Welcome to EmpowHER. Sorry to hear how you feel. It might be important to let him know how you are feeling, since you found the messaging or pictures of other girls. I think you just realized he is not the one for you and lost your respect and trust on him. If you feel this way, it might be impossible to bring that feeling back. You might be better off as friends and give each other some time to think things through.

Best,

Daisy

February 19, 2013 - 7:28am