Facebook Pixel
EmpowHER Guest
Q: 

How to remove the fear of pain of first intercourse?

By Anonymous July 13, 2009 - 4:05am
 
Rate This
im scared to have sex

Via Unsplash

i'm newly married but i always keep myself away from being intercourse with my husband because I'm scared of sex for the first time. He sometimes angry with me but i'm totally helpless. Whenever we proceed for intercourse but i feel fear of pain and resist him doing intercourse. Please help me so that i can remove this tension and keep my husband happy. I don't want to be scared of sex.

Add a Comment143 Comments

EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I have been married for 9 months now and have not had sexual intercourse witn my husband. I have soo much fear of him entering me and it really hurts when it gets to that stage! Help :(

June 28, 2017 - 11:08am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

am the same way i have been 4 years with him and haven hade sex because of my fear

May 26, 2017 - 7:33pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

Hi everyone, I've been married for a month now and also very scared of losing my virginity because of the pain. But to be honest it was only all on our head and the fear is getting the best of us. My husband and I tried it twice after a week of our marriage, on our second try I gathered all my courage and trusted my husband. It doesn't hurt that bad, and also I am nervous that time. Very. Your husband entering you is not a dangerous thing, it is not deadly. Don't fight it, don't focus on the pain it's NOT that bad. Even when it hurts don't stop, when you feel that pain just let go and relax tell your partner to be slow, relax your thighs if you feel pain it will reduced. Don't stop it. Sex is not something to be scared of, it is the broken marriage and no love making that hurts and scarier. Believe me you can tolerate that pain. Trust me. It is very tolerable. When my husband told me "we're already doing it, we're having sex" I felt relieved because the pain is not that bad it won't hurt anymore, that's it. I will tell you that PAIN you will feel will not last long. And that pain will only occur once, on the next intercourse you wouldn't feel that PAIN so treasure that moment, treasure that feeling. I just felt that pain briefly then it disappeared. I can say that it was uncomfortable and weird but not that painful. It was worth the pain because the happiness after that will last, focus on that. :) Remember it is your husband's right and you must grant it to them. And the most important thing is, if you truly love your husband you will give him everything. So do not let fear control you, beat it and laugh later! I did it you can! Control your thoughts.

May 5, 2017 - 7:39pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Thank you so much !!! I was so scared but you just took off my fear ! Really thank you!!! I'm so glad I read your comment . Your words are so good. Im so thankful

May 23, 2017 - 12:15pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

I keep pushing him from entering. My leg felt hard, and its difficult for me to widen my leg.. :(

May 18, 2017 - 9:30am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Try doggy style.. No leg stretching at all.

June 26, 2017 - 5:49pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

Hi

Its been 2 years i am in relationship and i am very scared of the pain of the first time intercourse.Whenever we proceed for intercourse but i feel fear of pain and resist him doing intercourse. Please help me so that i can remove this tension and keep my partner happy. I don't want to be scared of sex.

April 28, 2017 - 6:38am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

Ive been married For Two year .when it Come to sex i Want to run and Hide .i Feel Very scared to Be around it .me and My husband are argueing about sex .when he Touch around My virginia i Feel i Want to panic and run .i Try So many time it Hurt.it doesnt go in ,I'm Very tight. Down There .i Really i Want Have a kids someday but sex part Is casting me.

April 25, 2017 - 1:30pm

Hello everyone. Is interesting to see how many women have that fear. I remember I came here because I search in "google" "how to remove the fear of intercourse". It was in 2014 when I was open about it in the internet in HERE. I never talk about it, it was something private, but I felt kind off happy that I was not alone. I took therapy that worked for me, now I have a baby after 3 years. Is possible. I did it all of you can as well!! My fear came back after having a baby, but it was easier for me because I talked to my husband, but I am better now. Thanks to this wonderful group I am better.

March 30, 2017 - 8:21pm
HERWriter Guide (reply to Michelle2014)

That's fantastic news, Michelle.

Thanks for updating us and for letting our readers know there is hope.
Best,
Susan

March 31, 2017 - 5:53am
Image CAPTCHA
Enter the characters shown in the image.
By submitting this form, you agree to EmpowHER's terms of service and privacy policy
Add a Comment

All user-generated information on this site is the opinion of its author only and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment for any medical conditions. Members and guests are responsible for their own posts and the potential consequences of those posts detailed in our Terms of Service.

Sexual Health

Get Email Updates

Resource Centers

Related Checklists

Sexual Health Guide

HERWriter Guide

Have a question? We're here to help. Ask the Community.

ASK

Health Newsletter

Receive the latest and greatest in women's health and wellness from EmpowHER - for free!