Hi all. (This may be a long read, so I apologize in advance.) I am 35, my husband is 32. We started dating September 2009 and we got married October 2010. We did not live together until we got married. Most nights, I sleep in our bed, in our bedroom alone while he sleeps on the sofa...by choice. This started as an accident of sorts which turned into a full time thing. To make that long story short, he watches TV while playing games on his laptop...then just falls over asleep. Anyway, it has been over a month since we've had sex. I've been trying to get him to talk about why this is, but he mostly avoids my questioning. When I ask him about sex, or suggest we have it, he gets annoyed, telling me to stop nagging him or that I'm turning sex into a chore. When we do have sex, it's me preforming oral sex and then 5 minutes or less of intercourse. I have never had an orgasm with him, and he has never tried to achieve this with me. I thought the problem might be ED, so I got him a sample pack of Cialis. The first day he took them, he got an erection...and did nothing but watch TV and play on his laptop. The third day of taking the pills, we had sex. As of right now, there are three pills remaining in the sample pack. Tonight, I took a bath, then walked naked across the living room. He grinned at me, but didn't move. I went to bed. An hour later, after waking from a bad dream, I peaked out into the living room. He was sound asleep, but the TV was still on. I went to the living room to turn of the TV and saw porn playing on his laptop. It seems he had fallen asleep just after masturbating...and didn't have a chance to turn off the porn. I was pissed. So, I woke him up and tried to have a discussion. He wanted to know why I was picking a fight when he had to work the next day. I sat there for a moment...and while I did, he went back to sleep.
I don't understand. I don't know what to do. I know there is more to this than just the sex. His attention is often elsewhere, such as his computer or his cell phone. (When we go out, he can barely put his phone down from playing games.) I am about ready to throw all of that crap out of the window, but I know that will accomplish nothing. He is affectionate, when I am around him. I have tried talking to him, but he won't open up. I don't know what to do to fix this, or even if it can be fixed. All I know is that we used to have sex all of the time...in fact, I couldn't keep him off of me! And now...well, I masturbate a lot.
I would appreciate any ideas or advice.
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