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I am 24 and I want to have sex but I don;t get in the mood?

By Anonymous November 9, 2010 - 10:07pm
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I have three kids. I am on no medicaton or birth control and my tubes are tied. I want to have sex with my husband but i am just never in the mood. It stresses him out and gets him aggrivated and makes me upset because i can't get him what he needs. I want to fix this. I want to have sex and please him. I have tried zestra and all the sex gels and nothing works.What do I do?

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HERWriter Guide

Hi Anon

Thanks for your post and welcome!

Firstly, I think what you are going through it quite normal. You are 24 with three children already! That's a lot to handle and I think it's safe to assume that they are all still quite young?

The demands of young children can really put a damper on a woman's libido for several reasons. One is plain old fatigue, where sleep is far more important than sex. Another is the feeling many mothers get of feeling "all touched out" meaning children have been nursing/hugging or being held all day and by late in the evening, the woman does not want to be touched anymore - by anyone!

Hormone levels can change in women once they become mothers. You may want to have your hormone levels checked to make sure they are back to normal. Exercise can also help build your libido back up.
Another option is to "fake it till you make it". This means you really push yourself to initiate sex and then see where it leads too. A woman often ends up really enjoying herself and feeling great afterward - it's that initial push that's the problem.

Instead of complaining or giving you a hard time about things, I think a better idea is for your husband to make things easier on you and do things that make you want to have sex more. Sex is a mutual thing and he should be more understanding of the fact that you have had 3 children already and perhaps need a little help in this area. If he doesn't help out much at home, ask to to. Ask him to draw you a bath, light some candles, change the bed sheets and offer you a massage. All this can help your mood. He has a responsibility in this area too - it's part of HIS job (so to speak) to help you along instead of whining or giving you a hard time about it.

It sounds like you are doing a fantastic job as a mother and wife but need a little help in this area and you're not alone. Most women do after having several children. Go and get some blood work done to make sure you're problem is not physical/medical and tell me what you think about the rest of my suggestions.

Keep strong and I hope to hear back from you soon!

November 10, 2010 - 1:18pm
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