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I am a cancer survivor, I haven't dated or had sex in 7 yrs.

By Anonymous November 24, 2014 - 12:20pm
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I have a date to meet up with this guy I dated about 23 yrs ago, I am alittle scared about having sex.

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Hello Anon,

Thank you for visiting the EmpowHER community and for sharing your story and concerns! There are many women in the community who have asked the EXACT same thing…so you are not alone!

Congratulations by the way on beating cancer! What a blessing!

Meeting up with someone after not having seeing them for 23 years is super stressful (and exciting)!! Top it off with wondering and anticipating whether or not you are going to revisit romantic feelings, can be down right frightening, especially if it has been a while since your last sexual encounter. 

Other female cancer survivors have written and shared that they struggle with when and how to tell a potential sexual partner about their cancer. Once they have overcome that hurdle, they report being nervous about how to behave in intimate situations. Some of these women have had mastectomies and so they feel nervous with their new shape.

Whatever your circumstances are, sex creates an emotional attachment, so take it slow. Get to know your old friend again-uncover the person he has grown into- his likes, dislikes. Take the time to see if there is still a mutual attraction. Once you have laid a foundation and established that he cares about you, gradually work your way up to having sex. 

For some women, this could be just a few hours, for others it could take weeks or even months. Overall, don't feel pressured-make sure you can openly talk about where you are in your life and how you feel about intimacy. If you get scared, just remember...you are now much wiser and much more beautiful!!!!

Best of luck to you! I hope this helps! Please keep me updated.

November 24, 2014 - 1:08pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to kristincaliendo)

Thank you so much, it has helped alot! I appreciate how fast your response was, I will let you know how it turns out.

November 27, 2014 - 3:37pm
Guide (reply to Anonymous)

Your welcome! Definitely keep me posted!!



November 28, 2014 - 1:11pm
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