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Q:
I am looking for suggestions on climaxing during sex!!!!!!Not sure why I never have before?
By
amandaw88
April 6, 2010 - 9:56am
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I have been with my now husband for a total of 6 years. One year married. We do have regular sex, but I have never climaxed(orgasm). He finishes every time no matter what. But its not our sex that is the problem because I have never been able to make myself orgasm either. I also never masturbated when growing up, I just never felt the need to experience( or maybe was embarrassed) . I feel bad because my husband doesn't know how to fix it and I think he might feel like its his fault. I am looking for some suggestions on things I can try alone so I know my body better.
Also is this common for woman to never experience with masturbating. Then go into a committed relationship not knowing how to pleasure themselves in the first place??
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AmandaW88,
It's very, very common. You are exactly like many women who might be a little shy or a little embarrassed to figure out what the keys to your own pleasure are. There's nothing to be ashamed of.
Here is a video (you can also read the text) of one of our experts, sex therapist and marriage counselor Dr. Marty Klein, on women and orgasm:
https://www.empowher.com/media/video/woman-cant-orgasm-during-sex-it-sexual-dysfunction-dr-klein-video
And here's another question similar to yours, with a great answer by Rosa:
https://www.empowher.com/community/ask/why-cant-i-orgasm-ive-read-much-subject-and-still-am-having-problems
And a helpful two-part column by HerWriter Shaina Gaul:
https://www.empowher.com/news/herarticle/2009/08/06/why-can’t-i-orgasm-part-i
https://www.empowher.com/news/herarticle/2009/08/06/why-can’t-i-orgasm-part-ii
You might want to check this out, from Planned Parenthood:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/teen-talk/sex-masturbation/sexual-satisfaction/some-facts-female-orgasm-25404.htm
or these guides to masturbation:
http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/guide/masturbation-guide
http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/sex_relationships/facts/masturbationwomen.htm
http://www.livestrong.com/article/12490-masturbate-guide-women/
After all that, you may think that I think READING is the key to orgasm, LOL! Not at all. I just want you to feel informed and, well, empowered to learn to pleasure yourself. Find some time when you can be by yourself, with no time pressure or threat of being interrupted. Explore, feel, relax. Be patient -- it may not happen right away. But most women can learn how to masturbate themselves to a climax, and after you know what you enjoy, you'll be better able to orgasm during sex as well.
April 7, 2010 - 10:33amThis Comment