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ask: I am not feeling confident about my body and I am 5'3 144 pounds.

By Anonymous
 
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I am usually at least 12 pounds skinnier, and I have gained weight because of turning to food for comfort during a stressful time while moving to another state and having a boyfriend who was cheating on me and not working enough to support myself so I had to live in his apartment even though we weren't together and he was still trying to have sex with me and I found out there were other girls he was with when he was with me also. This destroyed my self confidence. I haven't lost a pound and this happened 2 years ago, but for some reason I don't want to loose the weight, I don't care about my life anymore, and I haven't had a good long term relationship in a long time and I feel like I can't trust any men anymore, I am also breaking out under my chin and all over my neck and jawline and I started getting these breakouts of and on since I broke up with him but it is the worst it was ever been right now and I have sore breasts for 3 weeks out of the month since that time in my life and nothing has improved. I have an eating disorder also, and am very critical of my eating habits so that adds a lot of stress on me when I eat anything I am depressed and I am confused about what step to take next in life.

I want to feel better but I don't feel good anymore, I used to teach aerobics, personal train, and I even went to a nutrition school but I tried to teach a yoga class for the first time in 2 years and the day of I woke up with 4 whiteheads on the front of my neck, I had never gotten that before! I was so nervous teaching that I couldn't enjoy it even though people said they lied it a client even took me to breakfast after! But deep inside I still don't feel good enough because of my weight I don't want people looking at me.

I don't know if I should continue teaching yoga because I was hired to even though I feel such low confidence and I am more stressed teaching right now?

I'm sorry this is so long!

Add a Comment4 Comments

DaisyN Guide

Hi Livelove84,

Sorry to hear how you are feeling.  Since you don't have any family or friends around, definitely stress and depression can cause weight gain.  You need to let your family or friends know how you are feeling.  Maybe, plan a trip to see them or have a friend come over to your city to visit.   Once you have insurance or maybe checking with your local hospital can also help. In finding a doctor and getting psychotherapy, will help you in finding ways to overcome how you feel. 

Keep us posted,

Daisy

September 5, 2013 - 3:45am
Livelove84

Hi Daisy!

Thank you for writing about this but the problem is that I haven't had health insurance in 3 years and so I haven't been able to pay for the services of a good doctor, but I am starting a job this week that I am getting health insurance in a week.

I have been to a doctor in the past and they prescribed me anti depressants and anti anxiety medication but I wasn't able to work during the prescription because it affected me so much, I was tired and physically sick so I stopped taking them, 6 years ago and that is why I am trying to heal myself holistically, with food, meditation, yoga, and affirmations but I am living in a new city and I haven't had a good job that I am happy with and no boyfriend and my family is in Ma, and I don't feel like I have a good support system down here and that makes me lonely and then I turn depressed because I love being around friends and family but being alone makes it a lot harder to be happy right now going through these stressful changes.

September 1, 2013 - 6:17pm
DaisyN Guide

Hi Anon,

Welcome to EmpowHER.  There is no doubt that stress can impact your daily life in many ways.  But, you need to help yourselves and get some help.  The fact you are heavier, does not mean you need to hide and not go out and continue with a regular life style.  You need to work on your depression and stress.  Some of these ways would be finding a primary care physician or if you already have one.  Letting him or her know how you are feeling.  Sometimes the use of Antidepressant can help along with psychotherapy.  Your doctor can refer you to one in your area.  Please keep us posted.

Best,

Daisy

September 1, 2013 - 3:47pm
Livelove84 (reply to DaisyN)

Hi Daisy!

Thank you for writing about this but the problem is that I haven't had health insurance in 3 years and so I haven't been able to pay for the services of a good doctor, but I am starting a job this week that I am getting health insurance in a week.

I have been to a doctor in the past and they prescribed me anti depressants and anti anxiety medication but I wasn't able to work during the prescription because it affected me so much, I was tired and physically sick so I stopped taking them, 6 years ago and that is why I am trying to heal myself holistically, with food, meditation, yoga, and affirmations but I am living in a new city and I haven't had a good job that I am happy with and no boyfriend and my family is in Ma, and I don't feel like I have a good support system down here and that makes me lonely and then I turn depressed because I love being around friends and family but being alone makes it a lot harder to be happy right now going through these stressful changes.

September 1, 2013 - 6:19pm
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