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I am 33 years old, my husband is 34. We have been married for 5 years and we have 4 daughters now. Our marriage was great, he has been such a wonderful husband and a great dad. He works so hard for the family as I am a stay at home mum. Our sex life was ok, I never say No when he needed it because I needed it too whenever we can have time for it. We had sex 2-3 time a month as we were so busy with work, kids, and house work. Everything was good and nothing seemed to be wrong, but... one day I found out he had been talking dirty with other woman on "Line" application on his new smart phone. Dirty talk, exchanging dirty pictures.and sexual fantasy. He said sorry, he just wanted a fantasy but he never want to be with someone else, he said he was not a bad person, He loves me loves the kids and never want to break our marriage, he was just being stupid and he was just a pretty average man. Well he said he deleted all contact from his phone. So after that I think he needs spice in our relationship, I told him that if you want to talk dirty, just send it to me if you want to show your dirty pictures just send it to me. Then I started to be very naughty girl. I love having sex, I really do but having 4 kids and doing housework, and he's working 6 days a week we just cant find a time. I would love to do it everyday with him. So now, I am sexting with him telling him how much I want him and how naughty and dirty I can be if we are alone together again. He's surprised and keep wondering what got into me why I suddenly become so naughty and need sex all the time. However, he seems like to avoid having sex with me for some reason, I dont' know why? but other things he is doing normal, still caring the kids. call me from work as normal asking about how things are at home, helping around the house. I just curious why he doesn't want to have a fully real dirty talk with me or even avoid having sex with me. Every night when the kids gone to bed I always dress up in the sexy pajamas and trying to give him a signal, he smile and smack my bum and said "ooh you are so naughty" but then he said not tonight honey I have to get up very early tomorrow, it has been like a while now. What should I do?
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Hello and thank you for sharing your question.
It seems like your husband loves you and your kids a lot and is very happy. I doubt he is ignoring your needs on purpose. You made a bit of a dramatic change and thought he would respond accordingly. I don't think he isn't jumping to the opportunity because he doesn't want you, but because he simply wasn't looking for a change.
Going forward, I suggest you tell him verbally what you want. Non-verbal q's can be fun and effective, but so far they haven't been. Maybe try approaching him and explaining how you want to change things up, and you want something new. Judging from the easy-going guy you described, he may respond better once you verbally express your agenda (for lack of a better word).
Good luck with everything.
Faith
March 8, 2015 - 1:14pmThis Comment