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Q: 

I have problems having an orgasm even when stimulating my clitoris. Can you help?

By Anonymous April 12, 2009 - 8:07pm
 
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I am in my mid twenties and have been sexually active with more than one man but not many and have never been able to achieve orgasm. I have tried masturbation but can not orgasm that way either. I feel enjoyment during foreplay, including clitoral stimulation, and sex, but not orgasm. The best way to describe the feelings I have is: I feel a intense build up of pleasure that seems to be building to a breaking point/climax/release of some sort, but instead I get a pain sensation. Its almost like I get over stimulated. I have tried stoping before I feel the pain and returning to stimulation at a later point, but this does not prevent the painful sensation from developing. I do not feel pain during intercourse only clitoral stimulation. However, intercourse does not result in more than a low to moderate stimulation level.

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Hi, Anon, and welcome to Empowher!

I'm so sorry you're having pain and discomfort during sex. Is that the only time you feel this pain, or can other things (tight jeans, bike riding or spinning classes, sitting for long periods of time) cause it also?

Have you ever heard of vulvodynia? It is something that often causes chronic pain in the external genital area. Empowher has a very informative page about it:

http://www.empowher.com/search/google?cx=001740413268797642882%3Axdyajny4mzk&cof=FORID%3A11&query=vulvodynia&op=GO&form_build_id=form-55b81c29c732b9856105390eda387d7f&form_token=50f4cfd351d4d447898e6c064e631035&form_id=google_cse_searchbox_form#960

And the Mayo Clinic has a lot of information about it also:

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/vulvodynia/ds00159

But I also wonder if you could be suffering from clitoridynia, since it seems like your pain is confined to just the clitoris.

Here's some information on clitoridynia from the Pelvic Health & Rehabilitation Center:

http://www.pelvicpainrehab.com/newsletters/January_2008_newsletter.pdf

I didn't find an enormous amount of information on it, so I'm going to refer you to something I ordinarily wouldn't -- a page that's put up by a for-profit company. In this case the company is Vagisil, but it had one of the better descriptions of clitoridynia I found. Scroll about halfway down the page (and please know I am not guiding you toward any specific product):

http://www.vagisil.com/special_200609.shtml

Does any of this sound like what may be affecting you?

It sounds like you might do well to take this information and make an appointment with your OB/GYN to ask about this pain. The fact that you have a buildup of pleasure while having sex that then results in pain isn't normal, and I'm sure it's not only uncomfortable but also de-motivating. Please come back and update us and let us know if we can be of further help.

April 15, 2009 - 8:38am
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