My guy and I met online through a dating site, we talked for a couple weeks, got to know each other, then decided to meet. I fell in love with him the moment I saw him. The date went great. We went on multiple other dates and eventually became exclusive, at least I thought so. I started spending more time at his place. He got laid off and very depressed. To save money, he moved in with me and continued the job search. He got a good job. After living together for five months, and dating for a little over a year, he said it wasn't working, he wasn't happy, and that he'd made out with his ex while I was at work. He then moved out. We decided to try and stay friends. He came over every couple weeks, cause he found something of mine, or he left something behind. About 3 months later, I was talking about maybe trying to get out there and date again, he didn't like that idea, and wanted to be back together. I took him back, probably a very foolish decision. Since then, his ex, who I found out he had been seeing still for about a month, filed a protection order against him. She had no basis other than a text where he said he hoped her and her family died. He then admitted to me that he'd still been with her for the first 2 months that him and I were dating. He said it was better, he was happy, and I was the one he truly wanted to be with. It's been just under a year since all that happened. I had a feeling something was going on a couple months ago; we hadn't been intimate for three months, and something just didn't feel right. I know I probably shouldn't have, but I looked through his instant messages on his computer. I found that he'd been messaging his one friend, lives about 3 hours away, in an intimate way the whole time we've been together. He told her how much he loved her, that he didn't have a girlfriend, that he wanted to be with her, that he wanted to do things to her. He even had pictures of her in some underwear he bought her, the same he had bought me. There were messages where they'd basically been sexting back and forth, and signs that there had been video instances and phone instances as well. I called him on this and he agreed to quit, I've seen no signs of that since. Last night however, I, being bad once again, checked his email. For the past month, he's had another female friend, this one being 20 mins away, he's been talking to in the same way. I sent her an email about the issue then confronted him on it. I started just trying to give him the chance to admit the truth, but he kept lying, so I just spit out that I knew everything. He finally sat and talked to me. He said he does it cause it boosts his ego, that he'd never actually meet them and carry out anything that he's said. He refuses to seek counseling, and has said that he's still not completely over his last ex. The last female has emailed me, stating she doesn't hold a grudge or anything against me, and she wants to be honest about what went on, she didn't know he was with me. Come to find out, about four months ago, he was at her place and had oral affairs with her. He has mentioned he kissed her in our discussion last night, but said nothing further happened, tho she now says it did. He says he wants to be with me, he wants to work it out and have a good relationship, I'm what's important to him, he loves me, etc. He's also gotten mad at me for 'snooping' and wants to know all the ways I am so he can prevent it from happening again.
I know I should just send him packing, but part of me feels maybe he'll change for the better and it'll work out. I love him with all my heart, and it'll be just as hard on me if he goes. I've never lived alone, and without him, I'll have to for the first time. I'm just not really sure what to do and would like any advice that can be offered.
If it helps, we're both 28, he's about 3 months older than me.
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