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I need help in deciding whay to do about my marriage?

By April 15, 2011 - 9:10am
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My husband calls me different names and tells me that he is embarassed to be seen with me because i walk with a cane. He then turns around and says he doesn't mean it but its like a never ending cycle and he also witholds sex from because he says i want it to much and that i act to much like a baby and he makes me fill bad for wanting sex i am only 22 years old so my sex drive is at its peak. When i ask my mother for advice all she does is tell me to leave him, what should i do?

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Hi lil wifey,
Thank you for your question and for joining EmpowHER. I'm sorry you are having to deal with this. We are not doctors or therapists, and cannot tell you what to do. That being said, my own personal opinion is that this behavior is not loving you, and it sounds abusive. You may need to seek counseling to deal with how it no doubt has affected you. It could possibly help to get marital counseling, but in case your husband resists, at least you can get counseling for yourself to learn how to deal with his behavior and hopefully find some happiness and secure mind despite how he is toward you. One woman to another, I want you to know that you deserve to be happy and secure in your relationship. You do not deserve to be treated this way. Once you realize that, and work on building your confidence, learn to disassociate yourself from his behavior, it will either improve your relationship, or you will know that it's time to move on. I know it won't be easy, but please know that you do have options. If you need further support, let us know.
Here are a couple articles that may provide some prospective and help you advocate for yourself: Psychological Abuse Can Harm Your Long Term Mental Health, and Gaslighting: Psychological Manipulation to the Extreme
Good luck, and let us know how you are doing.

April 15, 2011 - 9:52am
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