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I smoked crystalmeth off/on 5 years of my life, I wasn't a typical user, i stayed hygenic and engaged healthy habits and lifestyles otherwise. sober now, I live a half life because of weight that won't budge, lack of cns stimulation?, i am never energetic,so uninspired. i don't have any feelings of fullfillment at least that i recognize or happiness when i should. My work, relationships, everything is suffering. I can't seem to find a way to be the me that I was before. I quit meth on my own, not many people were or are aware i used it, i didn't like it but once i stopped i kept going back to get rid of excessive weight i gained from quitting until i realized i can't have what i want, to lose the weight, and to be able to quit without wait gain back. And i tried so hard to keep from gaining back but the will power, everything that makes life good and natural healthy rewards your body gives you are gone. i can't do meth again, but it seems like the only way my life will have meaning or quality ever again and i know that i am wrong and i hope you can help me. i have been excersing, eating well, engaging my daughter more cause i can see now i haven't been and she has suffered,but it is really something that my guilt reminds me to do and that wasn't the way it was before.
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Hi,
Congratulations on being sober from crystal meth...how long have you been sober?
You sound as though you need some help in your recovery from crystal meth. You have gone down the path alone (no ones knows you were using), and now I am reading that you are struggling with weight gain, not feeling the intrinsic/internal rewards from your own body, and most notably from your own words, "it [meth] seems like the only way my life will have meaning or quality ever again". This means you need some help on your journey through recovery, for both you and your daughter.
This is not from a "lack of will" as you said; your brain is still craving the drug, and it is a powerful one. There is no "will" when addiction is concerned; you have altered the chemicals in your brain and need some help (the changes in your brain chemistry is either on a short- or long-term basis, only a doctor can tell you what physical changes have occurred in your body from smoking meth for 5 years).
According to the National Institute of Drug Abuse (NIDA), "Methamphetamine increases the release of very high levels of the brain chemical dopamine, which is involved in motivation, the experience of pleasure". This makes sense and sounds like it is what you are experiencing---you are not sure how to experience pleasure ("no internal rewards, no meaning or quality of life") without meth, because it is the meth that caused the high levels of dopamine in your body. Now your body is still expecting those unnatural high levels of dopamine, and nothing less (the normal amount) will do.
There is treatment available to HELP YOU be able to feel pleasure, meaning and quality of life again without meth.
The current treatment options are called "behavioral therapy", which can include counseling, and have been shown to be effective. You can find a treatment facility at http://findtreatment.samhsa.gov/, or calling 1-800-662-HELP to speak to someone about treatment options and locations.
Please call one of the facilities TODAY to begin speaking with someone who can help you on your journey through recovery. I hope to hear back from you, and hear how you are doing.
May 21, 2009 - 1:17pmThis Comment