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I think I have an STD, maybe Trich. but I feel ashamed, embarresed to talk about it.

By Anonymous November 2, 2010 - 11:18am
 
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I have been married for 24 years. I have not slept outside my marriage. I never wanted to believe that my husband cheated on me, it was easier for me to accept the lie. I wanted to think that I have a happy marriage & set an example to my children.

My symptoms: at first I thought I was going thru the changing of hormones, or it was an yeast infections. I would get outbreaks once a month, 5 days after my period then another right before my period which it the yeast infection. I get burning, redness, some small red bumps all around my vulva N some on my labia. Swelling, sometimes painful intercourse. Discharge would be yellow, could be a little or quite a bit. I thought I got the rash because of vaginal dryness or skin felt like a burning sensation cause of intercourse.

Now, since my husband works out of state and comes home every 6-7 weeks. I know that the rash is not from intercourse. I still have swelling, redness, some small bumbs sometimes, and odor with discharge, and it just burns uncomfortably. last month I had taken some antibiotic a z-pack, for my sinus infection. At the same time I thought well this should get rid of the Trich too. Well, I had sex once after I had taken the z-pac, then my period lasted 6 days, then 5 days later I had an outbreak, it was not as bad, but the redness, swollen, burning, bumbs, a little discharge. I have an appointment this Friday Oct 5, 2010. I am so worried about the outcome and how to handle it. I am so disgusted knowing that my husband had cheated on me. My husband gets really angry a bit violent, I have 5 children and two grown but four still lives at home. I have no job, I am trying to pursue my insurance agent career, because it will allow me to take care of my children, I have one with a heart condition and misses a lot of school. I don't want to be with a man that has cheated on me, I feel like I am stuck. If the result comes back positive. ??? How should I handle my situation!

My husband is a biker, like to take road trips, with friends, he does go to bars, he drinks. When I confronted him last year with the possibility of him cheating on me with someone about 28 years younger he denied it, and with his ex-wife while he was at his sister's funeral cause I did not go, he was there for 2 1/2 weeks. He has also came home late or the next morning or gone all weekend and tells me that he dranked to much so he stayed at a friends or park on the side of the road, slept it off on his bike.

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I am so sorry to hear about your physical symptoms, your fear of going to the doctor in a few days, and about your husband's infidelity. We are here if you would like to talk about any/all of these subjects more, and there is an entire community of women who are going through many similar situations.

1. I am not sure why you have self-diagnosed as having Trich, as your symptoms do not match this condition. The small bumps indicate something else, and to ease your fear of going to the doctor, they may or may not be sexually transmitted. It is best to just go to your appointment with your list of symptoms, detailing when they flare up, what the triggers are and how long you have noticed them. You may find this information helpful: Dealing with bumps "down there".
2. Here is some information about sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and infections (STIs) that you may find helpful: STD Testing.

I am concerned that you said your husband gets a "little violent" when he is angry, and you saying that you "feel stuck" must be a scary combination. There are thousands of women who feel stuck, are in marriages that are unhealthy or even violent, and there IS a way out. Here is some information and resources for you; there are people who can help you if you just call them and talk: The National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
http://www.ncadv.org/protectyourself/GettingHelp.php

Many women are in situations where they are home with the kids, do not have any money in their name, do not have means to their own income, and these women are able to call the NDVH, talk with someone, and make a plan to help themselves and their children.

Please let us know how we can help. Do you have a good support system nearby (friends, family)?

Please let us know how your doctor appointment goes on the 5th. You can also talk to your doctor about any emotional or physical violence (regardless how "little" it is) and they have excellent resources as well. No one will pressure you to make a decision; it is just information-seeking you are doing right now. Your doctor should also be non-judgmental about any bumps or infections you have, regardless if they are sexually-transmitted or not. Doctors have seen everything, and are there to help us get better.

Take care, and please let us know how you are doing!

November 2, 2010 - 1:19pm
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