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I want to Exercise to lose weight but I'm really stressed out. Any Advice?

By November 6, 2010 - 4:14am
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Here's what I'm battling which has seem to be a "lifetime". I have been called all those not so nice words from my immediate family. (Trust me non-motivational).
My mother is a plus person and she's not doing anything about it. My dad was fit as ever and my brother too.
I am stressed out about my finances, my work life. I am overweight, encountering sinus and tooth pain (not sure if I should be doing something doctor wise or not. I've had tendinitis in my left leg for over 2 months now.

My doctor told me "take advil, it will go away soon". I have been taking Advil for 2 months, had a ultra sound and x-ray and its normal.
Do I want to lose weight? Yes, where do I start? I have no clue. I have been walking, but I want to do more. I injured my knee in 1991 and had surgery, have been battling my on and off knee pain since 1993.
I don't want to be at my mom's weight. I would prefer to be at a healthy weight.
My husband is skinny. 5'7 and 126lbs (so he has nothing to worry about)
But I do get a little bit of negativity about my weight gain from him.
"It would be easier for me if you were skinnier, we could run with eachother, we could do more things together." Hell if I had known he would not accept me 6 years into marriage this way, I would have never married him. He married me because he loves me and doesn't want to see me down. His negativity has almost led us to divorce last year. He's learned, but he still brings up the negative "it would be easier romantically if you were skinny." I have said if he's not happy with me, he knows where the door is. He gets into his own depression when I say that. But he should know how it makes me feel. I feel like I don't want to live because of him. I want to lose weight for me. And if he continues being the way he is, I want to lose weight to be empowered enough and strong enough to have the sense to leave if he doesn't change.
Any help out there? Please do let me know. I'm sure you will tell me to kick his butt to the curb. But I do care for him alot and that's more deeper than anything.

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HERWriter Guide

Hi grundlm

Thanks for your question and thanks for finding EmpowHER!

I would not tell you to dump your husband at all. He wants his wife to lose weight, become healthier and look after herself more - what's wrong with that?

Nothing of course, except his horrible way of getting his point across! There are ways to convey feelings and he's not doing his in the right way. He needs to be supportive and not critical. Please tell him that because they he's going about it, he'll drive a wedge between you both instead of driving you apart.

You are right to lose weight for you. But it sounds like you have dealt with this for a very long time and could perhaps do with seeing a nutritionist to understand how your body responds to foods and the right way to go about changing your entire lifestyle.

With regard to exercise, I highly recommend plain old walking as a good start. No need to run and get a trainer quite yet. Just condition your body to get used to being more active first.

And remember that stress can be relieved to quite a large extent by exercising. I promise you'll feel mentally better after your walks.

We have been asked questions like this many times and I'd like to link you to some of those posts, from women just like you. Also consider joining our Diet group for even more support : http://www.empowher.com/groups/diet

Read this great article called Tips for women who want to lose weight: http://www.empowher.com/weight-loss/content/tips-women-who-want-lose-weight
and tell me what you think.

Regarding weight loss in general, we have hundreds of articles and questions from readers, starting here: http://www.empowher.com/condition/search/need-help-losing-weight

Let me know what you think and do know that we're here for you!


Do you think you can get an appointment to see your doctor or get a referral to a nutritionist?

November 7, 2010 - 8:23am
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