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i want to have a baby

By Anonymous July 10, 2009 - 2:38pm
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i dont like to have sex with my wife. but we want to have a baby. is that possible that she get pregnant using my sperim

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HERWriter Guide

Hi Anon

If you and your wife are ok with not having a sexual relationship (and it's more common than we think!) then of course you can still have a baby. Is your wife ok with this? If she is, great. If not, it's not a good idea to being a baby into a marriage that is troubled. A baby will not 'fix' anything (nor should that responsibility be placed on such small shoulders) and a baby needs a strong and happy base to start his or her little life! I'm not sure if you don't like to have sex, or don't like to have sex with your wife, specifically. Can you clarify that?

You can elect to have your sperm placed in her body via IVF treatments. These are costly though, and there is no guarantee. Here's a little more information about the procedure from Empowher:

"In IVF, a woman is treated with hormones to cause her eggs to mature. The eggs are then retrieved during a minimally-invasive surgical procedure (ultrasound-guided needle aspiration or laparoscopy ) and combined with a man’s sperm outside of the woman’s body in a laboratory dish. There, the eggs fertilize and the resulting embryos grow in the laboratory for a few days. The embryos are then transferred into the woman’s uterus, where they may implant, resulting in a pregnancy.

IVF can be used to treat a variety of types of infertility , and it can increase a couple’s chances of becoming pregnant. The success rate varies according to maternal age, fresh or frozen embryos, and using the patient’s own eggs or donor eggs. In the US, the live birth rate per IVF cycle using fresh nondonor eggs is 37% in women under age 35, 29% in women ages 35-37, 20% in women ages 38-40, and 6% to 10% in women over 40.

While it can be successful, IVF is expensive. The average total cost for IVF is approximately $12,400, but this figure will vary greatly depending on what medications are needed and how many cycles are completed. Some states have laws that require insurance companies to cover infertility services such as IVF. To find out whether your state has these laws, you can call your state’s Insurance Commissioner’s office."

In your case, Anon, it's doubtful this would be covered by insurance because infertility is not an issue.

And of course, you can both adopt a child too.

As long as you are BOTH happy and committed, and can offer a child a loving and stable home, then a non-sexual marriage is not an unhealthy one. Takes all sorts to make a world!

July 11, 2009 - 6:29am

Why don't you like to have sex with your wife? Is your relationship healthy? If not, why do you want to have a baby together? It sounds like there are issues between you and this is probably not the healthiest environment to bring a child into. Why do you think that you don't want to make love with her? Does she like to have sex with you? What is the rest of your question? Please let us know so someone can help.

July 10, 2009 - 3:33pm
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