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iam in a mental abuse with my husband

By Anonymous January 8, 2015 - 10:55pm
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Hi iam 24 hes 38 yes i know were 13 year apart we got married 4 years ago we had trouble in the beginning like he would tell me my food tasted like shit or i didn't clean right or he wished i would loss more weight ect but then its gotten were last night he got so angry he pushed me backed me into a corner and started yelling at me in front of r children idk wat tp do

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EmpowHER Guest

Thank you so much for writing back yes i do have family my daughter and i are staying with ill keep in touch also i feel like i do want to work things out only because my mom and dad split up and it hurt me as a child i want my daughter to have both her parents not only that iam the type of person who doesn't give up were i know he didn't mean it we talked about marriage counseling i brought it up a few years ago he didn't want to go but now i brought it up again he kinda wants to go

January 9, 2015 - 10:09am
HERWriter Guide (reply to Anonymous)

Hi Anon

I am glad you are away from now. 

Don't go back to him until you have both completed counseling. He "kinda" wants to go? After pushing you and verbally abusing you for years and he kind of wants to go? Tell him it's mandatory if he wants this marrage to work. He does not have a choice. Be in charge of your life, Anon. Don't follow him, lead the way for yourself. 

I totally understand wanting to work on the marriage. I really get that. But children growing up seeing pushing and fighting and shouting are much worse off than those who break up and can parent together while living separately.  

Good luck with everything and stay strong.


January 9, 2015 - 4:23pm
HERWriter Guide

Hi Anon

Thanks for your post and I'm sorry you're in such a bad relationship.

Many emotionally abusive relationships can turn physical and once this happens, you are all in danger. I know that he "just" pushed you into a corner but that is physical violence along with verbal abuse that your children are witnessing. 

What kind of childhood is this for your children? What legacy are they being left? 

You need to get out of the house or file a restraining order against him and get him out. I suspect you don't work and have no resources but you need to find family, friends, or your church to help you out. Unless he gets the help he needs, this will only get worse. 

Can you move in with family or friends? Do this now - don't wait for the pushing to turn to hitting because it will end up there. 

There ARE resources out there - go to a shelter if you need to. But for now, you need to get this man away from you before he does more harm.

Will you keep in touch with us?



January 9, 2015 - 5:44am
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