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I'm 21, my boyfriend is 22. We're both healthy and young, but we never have sex.

By Anonymous June 30, 2015 - 8:02pm
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We've been together for 3 years now.We've lived together for almost 2. I love him. I don't doubt his loyalty and I know he loves me. We used to have sex all the time, fun sex everywhere, romantic sex, but for the past year we never do it. It's July already and we've only had sex three times! That averages about once every two months. I hate it! I've tried desperately to talk to him about it, he just says "i don't know" even when I'm sobbing. I've tried to talk on several occasions and it never gets me anywhere! I'm so frustrated. I feel so unwanted, undesirable, and depressed. I've tried everything to fix this. Romantic weekends, seduction techniques, surprise sex, nothing has worked. When I do manage to convince him to have sex it lasts for about three minutes and I'm always left unsatisfied. I know he isn't gay, I know he's not cheating. I... I just don't understand what I did! I can't fix this, I've tried! Someone please help me, Idk what to do anymore...

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HERWriter Guide

Hi Anon

Thanks for your post.

From my experience in talking to hundreds of women who say the same thing, it often comes out that he knows what's wrong and he's just not telling you. But only he can tell you this. Being in a sexless relationship isn't satisfying for you so he needs to see a doctor or get into some kind of counseling or nothing will change. If he won't talk or seek help then you need to either accept the relationship as is, or move on.

You need to stop all this sobbing in front of him, that is not the kind of relationship anyone should be allowing for themselves. You're right, you can't fix it. Only he can. It's something to think about. Don't waste time waiting for him to decide whether you are happy or not. His lack of communication shows he's really not to bothered about the whole thing. Everyone deserves a full relationship, including you.


July 1, 2015 - 5:43am
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