I'm pregnant and need to leave the father, what can I do to legally make him stay away from us?

By Anonymous January 15, 2010 - 12:49am

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I am 7 months pregnant and have to leave the father. He is an alcoholic and has a past drug problem, that I am very sure is not so much in his past anymore. I do not care anymore that our relationship is over, all I care about is that my daughter will be safe and never be around someone so unstable and hurtful. Legally is there anyway to make him give up his parental rights? How can I ensure that he is not there the day she is born and after? I do not want to move to another state or city, but I will obviously do what I need to in order to ensure her never having to deal with him and his problems.

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Diane Porter

Anon,

Susan and Alison gave you wonderful advice. I just want to say how proud I am of you that you are taking care of your baby girl and yourself and that you realize you cannot have someone in your life like this.

Do you have other people around you who support you emotionally, like family or friends?

Do you live with this person? Is it going to be a big deal to move out? And whether or not you live with him, are you worried that you will be physically in danger after you leave?

If that's so, please call the number Alison gave you. They will help you get to a safe place and help you get your feet on the ground. And be strong for your baby girl. Someday she will be very proud and grateful that you took care of her in this way.

January 19, 2010 - 8:48am

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Alison Beaver

If you are delivering your baby in a hospital, please talk with the hospital staff about who you do/do not want in the delivery room and recovery room. I am not sure what their policies are, but you have EVERY RIGHT to NOT have certain people in the room with you and your baby. Since you are not legally married to this person, I would assume that you can put him on the "not allowed to visit" list, as he may have to prove his paternity if you deny him access to the room...I am not sure. Please talk with the hospital staff, each nurse when his/her shift ends/begins...so that you can know that your labor, delivery and recovery within the hospital walls will be peaceful and not include unwanted people.

If this person has emotionally, mentally, physically or sexually assaulted you in any way, you can talk with someone about your legal rights, and your concern for the safety of you and your unborn child. Please call the free, anonymous number for the National Domestic Abuse: 1-800-799-SAFE.

How are you doing?

January 17, 2010 - 2:40pm