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Im scared for my first time.. what do i do?

By June 28, 2010 - 5:07pm
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hello, i have a relative, shes my best friend and i really love her... now she came up to me the other day and asked me something that caught me blank! ... her and her boyfriend are planning to have sex for the first time.. and she told me that her boyfriend doesnt want to use protection.. he told her to figure out a way for her to use protection, because he wants to feel everything? i really didnt know what advice to give her.. i know condoms are still not 100% reliable to prevent pregnancys but what can i answer to that ?? in my opinion i believ that no matter what he should use a condom! unless their planning to have children...

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Hi Bashful

There is more to worry about here than pregnancy. There are sexually transmitted diseases and infections such as HPV, which many men carry without realizing it.

If this boy cares for friend, he will not insist on putting her in danger of pregnancy and disease. They should absolutely use condoms. HPV can cause genital warts and cancers, and if he doesn't care enough about her to help prevent her chances of getting them, she should not have sex with him.

To me, it's simple. It's about caring and respect. Refusing to use a condom means he does not respect or care for her. Would you push someone in front of a bus? That's what you can be doing by not using protection. She could end up with life-long disease or even death. It is not worth it, no matter who the boy is.

Tell your friend to respect herself and only date people who will respect her as well. This is a lesson many women learn far too late in life. I appreciate your question. We get so many questions from girls who are afraid they are pregnant or have HPV or other STDs. Maybe looking at them will help you and your friend put this in perspective: http://www.empowher.com/condition/sexual-well-being, http://www.empowher.com/condition/sexually-transmitted-diseases/community, http://www.empowher.com/condition/menstrual-cycle/community.

I hope this helps you. If we can help further, please let us know.

June 30, 2010 - 6:35am
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