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is it normal for a guy to be OK masterbating the female but not wanting her to touch him?

By Anonymous June 27, 2014 - 8:39am
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My husband and I are having issues in our marriage. He now claims he don't love me but wants to start over being friends and go from there. Well last night we were both horny and he was fine touching me with his hands and masterbating me to get me off but he did not want me touching him. He had to do it himself and get himself off. What does that mean? Why was he fine with touching me but not for me to touch him?

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EmpowHER Guest

Things between us are always a little better in the privacy of our home. We go out in public he was nothing to do with me. He says he feels trapped and unhappy. But I remember him being happy. Now he claims it was all a show. Its all so confusing. He still don't want me touching him in any way. Not even to hold hands. He says he wants to work on things but it just seems like the opposite. I don't get it. But he will touch me sexually in the bedroom and get me off with his hands but that's it. But he don't want me telling anyone. Is this a bad sign?

June 28, 2014 - 8:50am
EmpowHER Guest

Hi Anonymous,

Thank you for your question and welcome to Empowher. I am not sure what we can consider normal in any situation however, I am not sure what the whole story behind your relationship that caused the distrust. Did you cheat on him? Did he cheat on you? Does he maybe feel discontent?

You said he doesn't love you.....but is working on getting that feeling back.....I can only assume here but sex is often a monumental piece to a relationship between married persons. I am married myself and I can understand that perhaps the excitement may dwindle sometimes and often sex can even become a chore. Yes, I said that. However, if he is pursuing you in a sexual way (even for manipulation) it seems like he is reaching to you in a good way....whatever caused the disturbance in your marriage - maybe this is his way of starting over and getting that mojo back. 


I hope this helps. Keep us posted.


June 28, 2014 - 6:05am
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