Is it OK to let my mother-n-law stay w/us because she's scared someone is hurting her, or is that giving into the illness?

Amberlee, in reading your story my heart goes out to you. You're in a very difficult position and I sympathize.

I do have one question. In your original question you mentioned something about letting your mother-in-law stay with you? Has she asked to do this? And if she did move in with you, was she planning to bring the 4-year-old girl with her as well? Is this a temporary solution that might get the girl into a safer environment for the time being?

And may I ask what your husband's position is on all of this? You didn't mention whether he agrees that his mom is endangering the little girl, or whether he is wanting his mom to stay with you.

Does the little girl go to pre-kindergarten or preschool? If there is a school nurse at her school, that may be one area to begin, simply by letting the school nurse know that the little girl needs someone to keep an eye out for her. School teachers, nurses and administrators are trained to deal with difficult situations involving children and may be able to give you some quiet help.

I'm so glad this small girl has you in her life. You are looking out for her with love. You are being her advocate. Please know that your concerns are important and that if you feel the little girl is in an unsafe situation, you need to listen to your instincts. Take care and hang in there, and please come back and let us know how we can be of help.

i will do that and i will repost with any update thanx again for listining you have made me feel so much better.

I would love to take custody of her she is already like a daughter to me, but because it's not my mother I can't just say give her to me. Her daughter seems to think she is okay to take care of for now and I do put my two cent in all the time. The mother abandoned her at 2 months and father is in prison? We're not quiet sure. I just wish that the doctors were more concerned about the the fact she is taking care for a four year old and we are taking care of her it seems so odd. And when she is at my home she thinks that i'm the one piosoning her and she even through away the childs food one time. I could go on and on about the things her does and my reasons but iI'm jus t the DIL so my opions don't matter. Theat why I had to find a support group to make sure I'm not going crazy for feeling this way I reaaly appreciate you answering my concerns,THX.

My MIL has custudy of her nieces 4 yo daughter since she was born but know with the confirmation of her illness I don't feel she should have custudy anymore, but her daughter and doctors seem to thinks it's okay. I don't believe she will harm in anyway except mental by tell her the things she believes is happing to her. th elittle girl already does things like smell her food and says it taste like pioson. I'm sure this well affect her as she get older. All so since she does not want to be alone she makes her feel bad by telling her she will cry if she want to go with someone in the family for night. i know these thing are wrong but why won't the state step in in.