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Is it possible to be pregnant?

By Anonymous July 11, 2009 - 12:11pm
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On Friday, July 3 (actually more like July 4th, it was around 2am) I was fooling around with this guy while intoxicated. I remember most everything that happened. At one point he was penetrating me and it was pretty painful, being my first time and all. It wasn't unbearable but it wasn't comfortable. Upon getting home I noticed there was blood in my underwear, and I was sore for about 24 hours, but mostly around my vagina and somewhat on the inside. I don't remember him getting off. I didn't have any doubts upon leaving his house that we did any more than just penetration, but as the weekend went on, I began to become so unbelievably scared and horrified that I couldn't eat, sleep, or leave my house. After talking to him, neither of us recalls having sex and he he doesn't think he "got off", either. Basically, my period was supposed to come this week at some point (it's never been pinpointed to a day) but it didn't come. The whole week I've been nauseous, dizzy, headaches, and urinating quite frequently. And, like I said, I can hardly eat or sleep. Since Tuesday (July 7) I've taken a pregnancy test every single day and they've all been negative. I honestly have no idea what to do anymore. I practically can't live with the thought of myself becoming pregnant, and the mere thought torments me. Could I be pregnant? Would I know this early? If I were pregnant, would I miss this period? Please someone help!

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EmpowHER Guest

Ok so update: Last Sunday (July 19), I began spotting. Spotting is pretty normal for me before I start my period. I spotted for about 4-5 days and then stopped. I know this is a sign of implantation bleeding, so I've been pretty worried. I tested on Tuesday (July 21) and it came out negative. So I'm spotting a little over 2 weeks after my incident and the test is still negative. Do you think I'm completely in the clear? Could my spotting be a result of my missed period, which I think I missed due to the amount of stress I was under?

July 25, 2009 - 11:17am
HERWriter Guide


So you don't think you had sex at all? Then you should be fine. The story has completely changed!

However, since you had pain, bleeding and felt penetrated at the time, as well as all these symptoms, you need to see a doctor. If you were drunk, you may be unclear about everything and it's best to be safe than sorry. You may be thinking up various different scenarios because you were intoxicated and you are now worried and stressed.

Having to go to the bathroom a lot as well as the bad smelling discharge and nausea is indicative that you may, in fact, have had sex. It's easy to get confused or lose memory if you had several drinks, not to mention all the stress of the past week.

I hope your period comes too - let us know!

July 11, 2009 - 5:15pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Susan Cody)

I guess my last question would be when should I take another pregnancy test? I realize I'm going a bit over the edge with taking one every day, but I can't help it; it sort of helps me get through the day. Am I taking them too early? When is the best time for me to take one?

July 12, 2009 - 4:29pm
(reply to Anonymous)

I am very confused by your questions.

You and your partner do not "recall" some of the specifics of the night (which is understandable in the "heat of the moment"), but not recalling if you had penis-vagina intercourse is a different story.

If you were drinking, did you experience a blackout? Do you have episodes of the night that include large amounts of time that you can not remember anything about?

If you had a blackout, you need to see a doctor.
If you only had penetration from a finger, it is normal to be sore for a day or two.
If you still have yellow discharge and any other symptoms, you may have a bacterial infection (very common!), and need to see a doctor.

Taking another pregnancy test should not be your main concern, and is actually distracting you from what you need to focus on, as an 18-year old adult. Please listen to your body: if you have symptoms (foul-smelling discharge, any color other than clear or white, pain, frequent urination), see a doctor. If you blacked out (or your partner did), you need to see a doctor.

Do you have a doctor that you can make an appointment with?
Please let us know if you need any help finding a doctor or health clinic in your area, as well as any questions you have about the medical examination.

July 12, 2009 - 7:39pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Alison Beaver)

I guess it's kind of hard to explain. Neither of us blacked out. I remember pretty much everything, it's just very fuzzy memories. I remember being on my back and feeling what I thought were his fingers inside me (I didn't think it would be anything else because I told him no sex). Unfortunately, I'm the type of person who gets inside her own head and just worries constantly, so the thought of us possibly having sex instead of just fingering just tormented me to the point where I believed I was pregnant. I have a feeling that everyone who reads this thinks I'm insane. I know the questions seem weird and don't make sense, but they're the questions that can't be answered which is why I'm so upset. I've never really had a sexual experience before which really doesn't help the matter at all.

I ended up telling my mom everything that happened, which made me feel 100 times better. She's really upset and disappointed, but I think we're going to the gyno this week.

July 12, 2009 - 9:51pm
HERWriter Guide

Hi Anon

Thanks for your question and thank you for all the details, it's helps a lot to not have to ask for tons of extra information!

Firstly, any woman (who is of child bearing age and not infertile) can get pregnant.

Bleeding after losing one's virginity doesn't always happen but it's not uncommon. If it has stopped and your body has healed, you're probably ok. If it begins again and it's not your period, see a health care professional. Feeling sore the next day is also quite common.

Regarding your period, when you say "I didn't have any doubts upon leaving his house that we did any more than just penetration" - this means you had full on intercourse. I assume you did not use condoms?

I'm unclear as to whether you really had sex - you say in the beginning that you remember almost everything and you did have sex, then you say neither you or the guy recall having sex.

The good news is that if your period was due this week, then it's unlikely that you were ovulating a few days beforehand and it's not likely you are pregnant. However, it's not impossible. Only time will tell, in the form of you getting your period or waiting an additional few days and retesting. Taking a pregnancy tests a few days after having sex will often show a negative result even if you're pregnant.

Honestly, it doesn't sound (using these dates and the AVERAGE monthly (28 day) cycle) that you are pregnant but there are no guarantees and unfortunately we can't tell you over the internet - I wish we could! Stress can delay things and being nauseous etc is probably due to the stress.

With regard to frequent urination - you may have a urinary tract infection. It's not uncommon to get these after sex. If it continues or it hurts to go to the bathroom, you'll need antibiotics to clear it up as a UTI could lead to a kidney infection if not seen to.

With regard to the bad smelling discharge - you MUST get this seen to. You may have some kind of infection or disease that was contracted by unprotected sex. Since you were a virgin, you wouldn't give this guy a disease but if he isn't, he certainly could give you one. Your symptoms may be trichomoniasis vaginitis or some other infection that is sexually transmitted and you will need to see a doctor for this. Do not listen to any guy who assures you he is disease free.

Anon, I hope you understand how important it is to remain sober for sex and to use protection ALL the time. Look at all the stress you are under, hiding at home, having some worrisome physical symptoms and losing weight from being so upset. Is a few minutes of unprotected sex with some guy really worth it? Do you know how many women get pregnant or a disease the very first time they have sex? It's a pretty high number, considering.

I don't want to preach to you and you certainly don't need that now. I think you need some support and advice. I hope I've given that to you. But I also hope you get your period soon and your symptoms are not indicative of a disease or infection. A drunken hookup is so not worth it, especially since this guy claims to not even remember it. Sex is great, it's healthy, natural and is supposed to feel good. It's not supposed to make you feel like you do. This tells you that protected, sober sex with a caring, committed man (who remembers it afterward) is vital for your mental and physical health. Will this guy be around if you are pregnant or have a disease to cope with? These are some questions every woman needs to ask herself. Take pride in your mind and body - no man -NO MAN - is worth the worry, stress and ill-health that you have felt this week.

Anon, we've all made mistakes in life - me too; lots of them! There is not one of us who is perfect. But learn from this!! At you age, you are your #1 priority. You should be having a blast and enjoying life, without going through all this. No young woman deserves that.

Please have your symptoms checked out. Many STDs/STIs can be cleared up effectively if treated quickly. Leaving yourself untreated is dangerous.

While I can't say for sure, I have a sneaking suspicion you'll be getting your period soon, but if it doesn't come in the next few days, please retest.

I wish you the very best and hope everything turns out ok. Will you update us?

July 11, 2009 - 4:53pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Susan Cody)

AND (sorry to keep adding!) not that I'm offended at ALL, I just want to be clear that I had absolutely no intention whatsoever of having sex. I told him multiple times throughout the hookup, most importantly the beginning, that I wouldn't have sex with him. Although this question may not reflect it, I'm a very smart girl. If I were to ever have sex (assuming that it didn't happen) it would be in a healthy, happy marriage with lots and lots of protection - believe me. That's why I'm so upset about everything. But anyway, I really appreciate the response. You have no idea how much it means to me. Keep the responses coming - I need them!

July 11, 2009 - 5:20pm
HERWriter Guide (reply to Anonymous)


I'm glad to read you have a clear plan for your life!

But remember that getting intoxicated and engaging in sexual activity (digital penetration is sexual activity) can lead to unintended consequences. You are still not clear that it didn't happen. All these sudden physical symptoms indicate that something indeed may have happened.
Your smartest bet is to remain sober so at least you have a clearer picture. Intoxicated sexual activity does not lead to a clear memory the next day. Otherwise you are setting yourself up for trouble, especially as you are still a teen. Intoxication changes the chemistry of the brain - no matter how smart you are - it will change it. And these chemical changes causes a person to act and react differently to how they normally would.

Good luck, I think you might be getting your monthly pal soon! I know it's easy to say but try not to get too upset, you are only due about now so give yourself a few more days. Waiting is hard, I know, but unfortunately, it's necessary.

July 11, 2009 - 5:45pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Susan Cody)

Sorry to be unclear. What I MEANT was that upon leaving his house I didn't have any doubt that he just fingered me, nothing else. I guess the next day I just kept coming up with new scenarios in my head about what could have happened. I'm really, really praying that my period comes soon...

July 11, 2009 - 5:10pm
EmpowHER Guest

To add on: I've had kind of heavy yellow discharge with a funky-ish smell from about Sunday-Friday. I've also lost about 10 pounds from losing my appetite (not intending to). My appetite started coming back yesterday and is mostly back today. This is also my first sexual experience with any sort of penetration (basically my first time for everything). I am 18 years old.

July 11, 2009 - 12:32pm
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