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my boyfriend and i attempted to have sex on july 4th. i made sure he wore a condom but apparently he put it on wrong....as he tried to enter me(he didn't enter me completely), the condom broke. i asked him if he came at all and he said no, but to make sure, i took plan b just in case. around 3-4pm that day i took the first pill. first thing when i woke up (usually around 5-6am) i took the second pill. i bled 6 days later(july 11th), right when i normally get my period. it lasted 7 days as normal, but was a little more lighter and a bit spotty and that was the only week that month after plan b....things have been happening at home so i've been under a lot of stress and worrying about the fact that i might be pregnant is adding on to it all....i've asked my boyfriend for help but because of our current situation there isn't much he can do since he's also unstable as a person. i haven't been tested,(i'm 16 and have lost all contact privileges that i could have with all of my closest friends. my family keeps me confined and restricted so there is no one for me to trust.) and i'm afraid of getting tested..i expected my period to come around this day and it still hasn't come....recently i've been feeling a bit nauseated, but i've been wondering if it's due to the fact that i didn't eat last week and that i've only been eating one meal each day.
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Hi,
August 19, 2011 - 4:40pmGood for you!! I am truly happy to hear that you are seeking the counsel and guidance of trusting and caring adults. You have made such progress and sound so mature. You are on the right track. With time and open communication, I think you and your family will work out your problems and achieve a stronger relationship. Wishing you a successful school year:)
Maryann
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the past few days i've calmed down a bit. i tried to take my mind off of things by focusing on summer assignments and exercise. my period actually started today( i'm trying not to let things stress me out as much.). i continue to talk with my teacher and actually talked with my guidance counselor about scheduling meetings with her so i can talk about my problems. my boyfriend and i are doing better as individual people. we've decided to put our relationship on hold until we both get all of our problems dealt with properly and learn how to support each other properly. we are currently just friends, but we are still keeping promises that we have made to each other. once things get better we plan on getting back together. i'm slowly learning how to control my emotions and how to look at the positive things in life. there are still some trust issues in my family but we're slowly working on that as well. high school starts in 3 weeks and i'm looking forward to that, and being able to show the school administrative that i'm stable enough to continue going to school and able to focus on my studies. thank you Ms. Maryann and Ms. Alison. for the advice. it's helped me so much ^^
August 18, 2011 - 12:48pmThis Comment
Hi Snoo,
You need to stop thinking that you are pregnant. You are stressing yourself and this can cause your period to be late. Try to relax and you will get your period. I understand that you care deeply for your boyfriend and want to help him. But, as a young person yourself, you cannot expect to be his sole support. He needs the help of a trained mental health professional, whether that be a psychiatrist or psychologist. Focus on dispelling the paranoid thoughts, stop being afraid that you are pregnant and work toward rebuilding your health. It sounds like you have found that your teacher is someone who you can trust and who cares about you. Continue to seek her counsel instead of keeping these serious thoughts to yourself. We are here to help, so please, contact us again if you need to.
Maryann
August 15, 2011 - 5:22pmThis Comment
Snoo,
It is important to first take care of yourself. EVERY good caretaker is only as helpful to the other person (in this case, your boyfriend) as they are themselves healthy and strong. Does that makes sense?
If YOU are not doing good, talk to your trusted teacher. She may think MORE of you that you are courageous enough to come to her and tell her you need help. Talk with your doctor. Talk with your school counselor about how to make an appointment with a psychologist (your parents would need to know, as it would be on their health insurance). Advocate for yourself, first.
Secondly, I strongly believe that you can be a good friend to your bf, but labeling yourselves as bf and gf right now is stressful. Your bf can not be a boyfriend to anyone, if he is not OK with his life and wanting it to end. He can not have a healthy relationship with anyone, and provide to them, if he is not first OK with himself. He needs to focus on himself. If he is not improving, he needs to speak with his health care providers (I assume he has many doctors and psychologist working with him). Do not take on his struggles (you are, through your words in your post). Take the "we" out of his struggles. If HE is struggling, you need to be your own strong, independent person to help encourage him to seek counseling, to talk with his doctor about changing dosage of his medication. This is how you can be his best support right now. If you are taking on his emotional baggage, he will feel like he is bringing you down with him...and he needs someone to be strong, supportive and emotionally stable right now to bring HIM up.
Again, if you can not be that emotionally supportive and strong person right now, that is OK. You just need enough courage and strength to ask for help from an adult. You and your bf can get better individually, and then help each other in supportive ways (encouraging, reading, learning) instead of bringing each other down.
Does this all make sense?
Please talk with your trusted teacher Monday, and keep us updated.
August 14, 2011 - 2:10pmThis Comment
I talked with my teacher today.... She told me that I should stay calm and relax about my situation because the unnecessary stress is probably delaying my period.... Most of what was said to me was what I was told here.. I can't help but be in a state of panic tho... Each time it comes across my mind, I keep wondering if I really could be pregnant or not.. at first I really doubted that I could be but as the days got closer and closer to when my period was supposed to start I became nervous and frightened.. It still hasn't come... Is there a possibility that it won't come at all? If it doesn't will that mean I'm carrying a child? It's gotten to the point that I act like theres nothing serious going on when I talk to my boyfriend... I act as if im perfectly fine so that I can support him... But that's not going to help things get any better...ive started eating regularly for the most part. I guess at this point I'm paranoid and afraid...
August 15, 2011 - 2:37pmThis Comment
Hi Snoo,
August 12, 2011 - 5:37pmMy heart goes out to you because I am a mother of three and my youngest child just turned 16. Honey, I really don't think you are pregnant, so please try to relax about that. The bigger problem is your isolation from your parents and family. Your boyfriend has serious issues that need to be addressed. Is there an adult at school, such as a trusted teacher or counselor, or a clergyman, such as a priest, minister, imam, or rabbi, that you can talk to for advice and guidance? Please contact us if we can be of any further help.
Maryann
This Comment
my family isn't really religious so we don't attend church sadly (tho i wish we did...) i have a teacher that i'm really close with but i'm afraid that she wouldn't think of me as the same student that she had once taught....due to the commotion that happened at school,(my boyfriend trying to commit the act on school grounds), it's been hard to talk with my teachers because they all know about what had happened. the school has been constantly watching me, (i went there for summer school to get ahead) i guess that's another stress factor...i try to keep things to myself while attending school, from what they told me is that if they notice any behavioral changes or see me breaking down, i'd get kicked out. i've had many close encounters....my boyfriend is getting the help he needs, but the thing is, it's not working.the medication he was put on, has no affect, it affects his ability to reason tho..... we do whatever we can to keep each other on our feet but it seems like it's not working....most of the time he breaks down and i do all i can to keep him stable....i don't want him to hurt himself again....we've been walking on a fine wire and are near falling off of it....i don't want to make anymore mistakes....i'd hate to have him completely out of my life....i don't want to lose him again....
August 12, 2011 - 6:39pmThis Comment
there's no one that i can talk to....all trust has been lost in the house hold. my bf tried to commit suicide in may which set an emotional upset on both of our familes. i was forbidden to have any communication with him, i broke those rules when he started to contact me and we secretly started meeting....when my family found out, everything was taken away(from what they thought). i just don't know....this is really upsetting me...i'm not much of an eater since my schedules are heavily affected mostly by school....there has been one point in time where i missed my period 2 months in a row and my freshman year had to be rushed to the hospital due to having fluid trapped in my tubes which caused sharp pains in my abdomen...all i know is that if i am pregnant, i wouldn't be able to have a child since so much has affected me and life isn't getting better from what i can see....and my body wouldn't be able to handle carrying a child....My bf and i talked about the possibility if i were carrying, we would have to find a way to end it. we are both against abortion, but from the stand points, the baby would be put through a lot and wouldn't be able to make it....i know it's wrong, but my body isn't strong enough right now...physically and emotionally. i know that my bf and i shouldn't have done something we weren't ready for(technically he's of legal age, i am not) but we really do love each other. more than anything in the world and i guess because of our situation, we became desperate. we are still together and plan on being a married couple in the next 6 years. we eventually want to start a family, now just isn't the time...
August 11, 2011 - 8:33pmThis Comment
Hi Snoo,
August 11, 2011 - 4:45pmI don't think you could be pregnant, You took Plan B within the recommended period, which is 72 hours following unprotected sex or contraceptive failure.The second pill should be taken 12 hours later, which you did. Since you had vaginal bleeding when your period was expected, it is safe to say that Plan B worked. Changes in your menstrual cycle are a side effect that you can expect. Your period can be lighter or heavier, earlier or later. Since you are only 16 years old, your menstrual cycle may be irregular for a few months.
You need to try to relax and starting eating regular, healthy meals.
Are you able to talk with your mother? I am concerned that you have no one who you can confide in and can trust. I hope that I have helped you in some small way.
Maryann
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