Facebook Pixel

its been a year that my boyfriend hasn't been intimate with me.

By July 14, 2010 - 1:02am
Rate This

Ok its been about a year that my boyfriend and I haven't been intimate. But I have to admit that in some way its my fault. Ok about a year and 1/2 ago we were playing around, it turned into 4 play and soon after into sex but the sex was for about 5-7 mins!!! Rite after we were done I told him that why he couldn't last much longer I didn't even get the chance to even start he was just in and out. I have to admit I did sound cruel but hey I was extremely horny, mad and frustrated. After that we had sex in August of last year and since August until today July 13, 2010 we haven't been intimate. I have talked to him and rite now he's under a lot of stress. He says that he's so stressed out that he doesn't think about sex and that what I had said to him about a year ago also affected him mentally. I don't. know what to do anymore... I'm also stressing out too cuz everything else in our relationship is good we just don't have sex anymore... This November it will be 3 years together n I don't want to loose him. What do I do???

Add a Comment5 Comments

Hi Gata05,
Anonymous, is right that erectile dysfunction is a true medical problem. If your boyfriend is experiencing this, there are a lot of methods to try and deal with it--a doctor can help him figure out what will be best for him. Doctors are trained to work in the most discreet way, so he shouldn't be embarrassed regardless, if it truly is a medical issue. For instance, his medication for OCD could be part of the problem. Some people do report reduced sex drive when on anti-depressants. However, we still don't know if it is a medical issue, and it's up to him to decide to get help. As his girlfriend, you can be loving and encourage him, but it's his deal ultimately. You still need to take care of yourself, and decide where your line is on the relationship and in regard to helping him and being patient. Good luck, and come back if you still have questions or need to "talk."

July 26, 2010 - 10:07am
EmpowHER Guest

hi I'm a male and from the sounds of it he has premature ejaculation problem and is frightened to say anything this explains the we will finish off later problem because he has already finished talk to him about it he is probably soo upset that he couldn't satisfy you that he doesn't want to let you down again ask him about it tell him its okay and go get erectile dysfunction pills there really good I don't have problems I just take the pills to stay intimate for a few more hours
hope it works out

July 26, 2010 - 9:29am

P.S- Wen we talk about it he says wat I said to him a year ago still affects him but he doesn't want to use to that as an excuse. I've told him how I feel n he tells me to be patient cuz we will be intimate n soon but I've heard that all this past year.

July 15, 2010 - 12:43pm

Well we have talked about it this past year and he says he's just too stressed with money and personal family problems. We are not intimate in any other way since we last had sex. We haven't even made out like we used too... He has OCD and a few months ago a weekend that we were home we had 2 drinks each and then we laid in bed started to make out and while I was touching him he asked me to go down on him and b4 that he had touched his feet so I told him to go wash his hands but he didn't want to so I said well then I'm not gona do anything until u was yur hands cuz his hands were dirty. So nuttin happened that nite. Then a month later he woke me up mad early one morning n we just started playing around n tickling and I started touching him n he was getting hard but 2 mins after he just took my hand off n said we will finish later tonight wat we started n got out of bed n left. Later that nite nuttin happened. So I don't know wat else to do.

July 15, 2010 - 12:31pm

Hi Gata05,
Thanks for your question, and for finding EmpowHer.
Stress or not, very few guys would turn down an opportunity for sex. Sex is a great stress reliever. Have you both discussed the lack of sex more than a few times in the past year? I'm confused how you as a couple went so long without. Are you two intimate in other ways, or just hanging out together all the time? I think I need some more clarification, and you also need to ask yourself hard questions what it is you are looking for in a relationship and if this guy really is what you need right now. How important is sexual compatibility to you? Think about it a bit, and let us know how you're doing.

July 15, 2010 - 8:43am
Enter the characters shown in the image.
By submitting this form, you agree to EmpowHER's terms of service and privacy policy
Add a Comment

All user-generated information on this site is the opinion of its author only and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment for any medical conditions. Members and guests are responsible for their own posts and the potential consequences of those posts detailed in our Terms of Service.

Sex & Relationships

Get Email Updates

Resource Centers

Sex & Relationships Guide

HERWriter Guide

Have a question? We're here to help. Ask the Community.


Health Newsletter

Receive the latest and greatest in women's health and wellness from EmpowHER - for free!