My 27 year old boyfriend has issues staying erect

By Anonymous June 1, 2011 - 5:06pm

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When we first started dating I knew he had some anxieties with us having sex, since he didn't have sex for about 6 months or so. He seemed to be okay, but then he would worry a lot and lose his erection. I feel that now it is happening more often because he keeps worrying that it will happen again, and so it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. He stated that he worries about pleasing me and feels like he is less of a man because of this, and hates himself. I feel like when I can just get him really turned on and just to concentrate on the both of us, he is okay and there has been times where there is no issues at all, but other times he gets soft and looks upset. He feels like I am disappointed in him, but I am not.

I mentioned maybe he should go to a doctor, but he only seemed to get more upset by that idea. He seems scared that I will leave him, and says I deserve better.

I think this is a psychological issue and nothing is physically wrong with him, but nothing I seem to do is really helping.

Does anyone have ideas? I really love him and I just want him to be happy.

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Maryann Gromisch RN Guide

Hi,
Sounds like you are on the mark with this being a psychological rather than physical issue. Your love, support and patience will help him over come this dysfunction. You might want to try this- set the mood, candlelight, a glass of wine...help him relax. Even if he loses his erection, redirect the focus to getting him aroused, be creative.

June 1, 2011 - 5:49pm

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Anonymous (reply to Maryann Gromisch RN)

Thank you. That's a good idea. I just want him to stop worrying about the chance of it happening, and for him to truly understand that I won't leave him over this. He said his last girlfriend wanted to. He knows I'm not her, and I treat him a lot better than she did, so I wish he wouldn't think such things.

I'll try that next time. :)

June 2, 2011 - 6:16am