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my boyfriend and i just started having sex, even though i wanted to wait for marriage,

By April 22, 2009 - 6:53am
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but he promised he would stay with me. but lately he's been treating me really bad. does this mean he is just using me?

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Hi, Domonique, I'm so glad you found us at EmpowHer!

I'm sorry you're having relationship problems right now. But there are a lot of explanations for what could be going on.

How long have the two of you been together? Were you planning to get married to one another, or had you gotten that far yet?

It sounds as though you really didn't want to have sex with your boyfriend; are you feeling OK about having done so?

What do you mean exactly when you say he's treating you really badly?

Are you his first sexual partner as well?

And may I ask how old you both are?

The answers to some of those questions may help you figure out what's going on. It may be that the thought of commitment and marriage is frightening to him and he's backing off a little. It may be that he feels badly for having pushed you into having sex, or that he's confused about where the two of you stand. It may be that his communication skills are somewhat poor and he's having trouble talking about his feelings. Or it could be something totally unconnected to you -- he might be focusing on something happening at home, with his family, or at school or in the workplace.

When we say that someone is "using" someone else, it takes all the emotion out of it. It means that one person is just trying to get something from another person without caring what happens or whether someone gets hurt. Does it feel like that's what is happening to you?

When you think about the above questions, what do you think is going on?

April 22, 2009 - 9:00am
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