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My boyfriend can't get me off....

By Anonymous October 14, 2015 - 11:06am
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My boyfriend and I have started branching out and and giving each other hand jobs. I can get him off every-time but when it comes my turn I'm nervous. I'm nervous that he'll feel bad if I dont have an orgasm, or that it will hurt. And then I let him. What he was doing felt good and I almost came multiple times but I never actually did. I don't know why and I find it really hard to ask him to do certain things that would help....How do I overcome that?

The idea of him touching me like that and the way I feel when he does it is amazing..so why am I not finishing? Is it psychological? Or physical or both?

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Hi Anon,

Thank you for sharing your question with the EmpowHER community.

There is a small percentage of women who never experience organisms.  And some women who need a little more time and creativity to get them there.  Sometimes it's just a matter of knowing your body and being comfortable with communicating with your mate.

Have you ever experienced an orgasm with your boyfriend? I wouldn't be concerned at this point whether it is physical or mental, maybe it's just a matter of striking the right balance of mood and more communication during foreplay.  

The good news is there help.  A little patience coupled with practice can foster improvements in this area for the both of you.

Here are a couple of resources to help:

Can’t Orgasm? Here’s Help for Women

Navigating Orgasm Obstacles

I hope this helps.


October 14, 2015 - 2:39pm
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