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My boyfriend doesn't have sex with me anymore?

By July 23, 2015 - 10:36am
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I have been dating my boyfriend for four months now and I am head over heels in love with him. At the begining of our relationship (the first three months) everything was wonderful, we had sex all the time, and by all the time, I mean every day, and we would always do foreplay to please each other and because we wanted too, this past month by boyfriend has become sexually distant, he has gone down on me maybe once or twice and we went from having sex every day to a few times a week, When we do have sex he finishes within minutes, he always says "sorry, I couldn't help it". When he goes so quickly, I don't get upset with him because I don't want to make him feel badly. I always have to sat "let's have sex" and sometimes he just flat out rejects me "I'm too tired" "No time". It really bothers me, I feel like he isn't attracted to me and I wonder if he ever will be again. Can anyone give me advice on why he doesn't go down on me anymore? Why he doesn't jump on me like he used too? Is there any tips on how I can fix this? It's making me feel really sad... I don't feel wanted or like he finds me attractive.... he tells me I'm "beautiful" often but I feel like if he finds me so beautiful why wouldn't he want me? I have tried to talk to him about this four times now.. the first time I asked if there was someone else and he flipped out... the other three times he got really angry and told me that we just don't have time and he's too tired. He wants me over every day and we will cuddle in bed and fall asleep together but i am getting sexually frustrated and I'm hurt. Any advice would be greatly appreciated...

Add a Comment4 Comments

My boyfriend just started doing that to me and he makes me feel like he's not very interested in me. He's actually coming over right now and he before leaving he called me to confirm that we won't be having sex because he's "too tired." I'm not sure what to do. I told him I'm counting every time he regets me so that he'll feel guilty and worry about himself not doing his job. I know it sounds kind of sluty but, you have to threaten these men in a nice manner sometimes. It's the only way that they'll change.

August 27, 2016 - 5:02pm
HERWriter Guide (reply to simplyhonestkesh)

Hi simplyhonestkesh

Thanks for your post!

What you are doing is game-playing and it'll never work in a relationship. You need to have an adult conversation with your boyfriend to talk about what's going on. Maybe he isn't too interested in you as you mentioned and doesn't seem to know how to tell you. Honesty is really the best policy. It's better to know now for sure . Nobody should have to "threaten" someone to have sex with them - they have to want to!

August 30, 2016 - 1:25pm

How do I Wright a post ?

December 17, 2015 - 10:14pm
HERWriter Guide

Hi Summer.Roberts

Thanks for your post!

I'm sorry you're having these difficulties.

You say "At the begining of our relationship (the first three months) everything was wonderful..." so that was only a month ago. You're still in the beginning of your relationship, you should be in the "honeymoon period" for a few years. All these problems are within a few months when you're relationship isn't really established yet.

Nobody can tell you why he has lost sexual interest except for him. There could be lots of reasons - he doesn't think he can perform well, he may be feeling ill, or he simply may not be interested in a sexual relationship anymore; maybe he wants more of a friendship.

Since you have brought this up several times in the past month and he is saying he's tired or just doesn't want it - believe him. Maybe it's true. Maybe the relationship is meant to be great but short but only he can tell you. You could spend a year pondering the possibilities.

Ask him flat out if he wants a romantic relationship or not. If he says yes but continues to show no interest the he's not telling the truth and you need to get out and move on. Don't beg.

Relationships aren't always easy, Anon, but yours is in trouble about five minutes into it. You need some honest answers here and you certainly deserve them. Games are for kids.

Good luck and keep us posted!

July 23, 2015 - 3:23pm
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