My boyfriend and I are both 25 yrs old. When we first started dating we couldn't keep our hands off of each other. I am a very sexual person, and enjoy making love with my partner on a regular basis. He used to be that way also.
Then about 4 months into the relationship we went from making love almost daily, to about once or twice a week, down to once a month and now I'm lucky if we make love once every 3 months... Right now we're going on almost 4.
I have expressed my concern to him, and asked him if there was anything wrong. When it first declined, we were experiencing some challenges in our relationship but we are very communicative and we have worked through and improved on those issues... so at first, he said that was part of the problem, then he thought he might have medical problems but didn't go to the doctor about right away, then it was that there was too much pressure because he was tired of talking about it, and most recently he has come to the conclusion that it is because his work schedule has changed. He went from working days to nights, and also stopped exercising. I know that this is probably the biggest factor.
I express to him, that I know he loves me, and he says he's still attracted to me... so we have tried to do things like taking showers together, or just lying naked together... but everytime we do these things, all I want is to make love because I am so starved for that type of affection! It ends up backfiring and causing me distress.
We moved in together almost 2 months ago, and have yet to make love in our new home. I love him very much, and I know he loves me. He is a very loyal person, and we both agree that we have a great relationship, except for the sex... which is important to me.... he says it bothers him too, but seems to be okay with it as is right now.... meanwhile, I'm feeling empty and hollow in that department. I don't even like to masturbate anymore, because I just wish that it was him making love to me.
I don't know what to do. I try to be understanding, I try to not take it personally, while also still communicating my needs, but sometimes when I do I feel like it makes things worse. He gets upset after a while and doesn't want to talk about it.
Then there are the times where I try to spice things up, hoping it will peak his interest.... and I always end up feeling rejected in the end when he isn't.
Any advice for how to cope? I don't want to leave him... He is the one I want to be with....but how can I cope better until this passes?
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